


Dancing With Our Hands Tied

by omgitsaddyc



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Act II fic, Anxiety, Budding Romance, Depression, Eventual Canon Divergence, Feelings, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Spoilers for all of Act II, it'll all make sense in the end maybe, mentions of mental health, more characters to be added in later chapters, proceed with caution if you're new to the game!, this is strictly an Act 2 fic, tree mom is mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2020-11-28 08:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgitsaddyc/pseuds/omgitsaddyc
Summary: Failure weighs heavy on the Luminary, but he will stop at nothing to win back all that he has lost.





	1. Burned Down

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first long fic for this fandom! I am nervous as hell and I hope this goes well, but if the first chapter is anything to go by, this is gonna be a fun ride.
> 
> Please note this fic begins at the start of Act II, so if you've just started playing the game there are major spoilers for all of Act II! I've also aged the Luminary at 18 per "coming of age" where I'm from. Happy reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Swaying as the room burned down..._

Gasping for air had become a common feeling for Eleven. As his head breached the surface, his limbs flailed to try and keep his head above water. He ended up in a friendly fisherman’s boat, and as soon as he was situated he couldn’t hold in the hysterics any longer. 

He rested his head in his hands and let the tears fall, the sobs shake. Rain poured down from above, almost as if the sky was crying along with him. 

As they rowed closer to shore, Eleven could already see that the world he knew before Yggdrasil fell was long gone. He was lucky to have found a good Samaritan even in times such as these, and it took everything in him not to spew endless apologies to this stranger. 

All of the horrible things that had come to pass were his fault, and the guilt he felt was soul crushing. He had failed to stop Jasper and in turn Mordegon had killed Yggdrasil and plunged the world into darkness. All because he wasn’t strong enough. 

Whatever fate his companions had met - and after seeing the state of the world he wasn’t optimistic - was also his fault. That realization hit him so hard he had to put a hand on his chest to make sure he was still breathing. He stared up at the ceiling of the oceanside hut and let his mind continue to spiral, anxiety and grief gripping at his throat. He eventually fell asleep, but if it was from mental or physical exhaustion, he’d never know.

Eleven opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. His head was pounding and his chest felt achingly hollow. He sat up, put his feet on the floor, and gathered what little of his belongings remained. The events of the past 24 hours came rushing back all at once, and he suddenly remembered that he was completely alone. It took everything in him not to sink to the floor and lose it all over again. 

He hadn’t been alone since the very beginning of his journey, since before meeting _him_. He had no idea where Erik was, or if he was even alive. 

Fear gripped his heart as fresh tears streamed down his face. He cried for all of his friends, hoping that they were okay, and had found whatever refuge they could. He couldn’t bear to think of the alternative.

He looked around at what had become of Erdrea, and it made his ever-mounting self loathing deepen. He was glad his power was gone, he didn't deserve it. 

The last thing he heard before the fall was Erik begging him to get up. He shook his head, trying to banish the memory. He swiped his sleeve over his eyes one last time and thanked his host graciously before heading off to what was now called the Last Bastion. It was one of humanity’s last strongholds against the darkness, and it would be a good place for him to start making his amends.

As Eleven made his way over to where Blue John had so kindly directed him, he made a brief stop at Cobblestone Falls. He knelt down next to the water and stared at his reflection. The purple, swirling sky as a backdrop made his stomach churn.

“Grandad, I’m so sorry. Everything fell apart so fast and I don’t know how to fix it.” He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes to stop the fresh tears, but it was no use. He sat at the edge of the water for what seemed like hours, just begging for forgiveness from whatever deity may be listening. Whatever deity was even left.

Once he was able to think clearly again, he stood and took a few deep breaths for composure. He nodded once at his reflection, making peace with it. He may not know how to fix what had happened right this moment, but the least he could do was begin to track down his lost companions and begin to try. They were what made him strong, what made him believe in his abilities. Being suddenly alone made El feel hollow, a strong gust of wind away from breaking down.

* * *

When he finally arrived at the Bastion, it took him a few moments to take in what had become of his old hometown. It looked much different from the last time he’d seen it reduced to rubble. There were gates and fortified walls around the sections of town, protecting it from the new dangers of the outside world. He was glad to see it in some sort of repair, but the situation still wasn’t ideal. It looked like a war camp. His heart lurched as a familiar face came into view.

Relief flooded through his mind for the first time that day as Gemma came running at him with tears in her eyes. He caught her as she flung herself into his waiting embrace. A small comfort in otherwise desolate circumstances.

“You’re back, you’re alive! Everyone is going to be so happy to see you!” She exclaimed, tears beginning to stain his sleeve.

He did his best to force a smile, but Gemma saw right through it. She’d known him his whole life, and had seen the gambit of emotions from El. She gave him a small, pitying smile and lead him over to meet his mother and the other villagers, hoping that seeing more familiar faces would bring some sort of solace.

After the heartfelt reunions and an odd conversation with the now unpossessed King, Eleven found a crate behind his mother’s tent and slumped down. Gemma sat down next to him, leaning forward.

“Are you alright? You seem quieter than usual, and that’s hard to notice coming from you,” she joked, nudging his arm with her own. 

Eleven shook his head wordlessly.

“Oh, don’t get all mopey on me! I was only joking. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ve been through more than enough.” She held her arms out, offering a warm embrace.

He accepted and leaned into her arms, letting himself relax for the first time since the fall. All of the emotion he'd been holding in the last day washed over him, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Gemma gently patted his back, waiting for him to speak. 

"I lost him. I lost all of them," he choked out after a few minutes. 

It took her a moment to understand what he meant. "Him?" She asked. "Did you make friends on your journey? What happened to them?" 

She never had the chance to meet any of the friends Eleven had made while he was gone. Being locked away in Heliodor's dungeons didn't offer the opportunity for much social interaction with the outside world. 

She didn't understand, she never would, and that was okay. He needed a friend right now more than anything. Luckily Gemma was one of the best.

“I don’t know. I woke up alone after the fall." He folded and unfolded his hands in his lap. "It was all my fault, Gemma. I wasn’t strong enough.”

Gemma looked at him like he was a wounded animal, empathy alight in her eyes. “You can’t place all of the blame on yourself. You’re only one person, Luminary or not." She grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. They sat like that for a few quiet moments before she spoke up again.

"I’m sure they've all found a safe place. Are you going to go out looking for them?” 

El nodded slowly, determined. “That, and the whole saving the world thing. There’s no point in trying to find anyone if everyone and everything is dead,” he said dryly, a small smirk forming. "I'm glad you and Mum are alright. I owe Hendrik a huge thank you." 

Those were words he’d never thought he’d find himself saying. He’d found out from the king that Hendrik had saved the townspeople from a most certain death by Jasper’s hands all those months ago. 

After Hendrik discovered Jasper and the King were under Mordegon’s control, immense guilt weighed on his heart. He was loyal to a literal fault, and when he woke up after the fall he did everything he could to try and make it right. He’d fought his way across Heliodor, saving as many people as he could along the way and bringing them safely to the Bastion. As many as he did save, there were many he could not, and those nightmares haunted him regularly. 

The appearance of the Luminary from seemingly nowhere was a welcomed and concerning sight. He was alone. Hendrik knew he traveled with an ever growing group, but he was most surprised by the absence of the thief. He assumed the absence was not by choice, and by the look on Eleven’s face when they joined forces before the battle, his assumption was right. 

It was certainly strange for Eleven, fighting alongside Hendrik on the battlefield, but they soon fell into a comfortable rhythm that drove them to victory. Hendrik drove a line straight through the enemy forces with brute strength and ruthlessness, Eleven fighting off anyone that tried to close them in from the rear. 

They had both saved each other’s hides, and that was more than enough for Hendrik to accept Eleven as a worthy companion. There was no doubt in his mind that he truly was the Luminary, and he made it his mission to atone for his previous behavior by doing whatever he could to make sure Eleven’s destiny was fulfilled. 

The Bastion was safe for the time being, and they had a bigger mission ahead of them. Before they set off to confront the monster that had taken residence in Heliodor’s castle, Hendrik pulled Eleven aside.

“I want to officially apologize for everything I have done. You are not the Darkspawn, you are our last hope, Luminary,” he said, bowing. Eleven rested his hand on Hendrik’s shoulder, and motioned for him to stand. 

“Thank you, Hendrik, I really appreciate it. You didn’t know about Mordegon or Jasper. But can you not call me 'The Last Hope’? I feel like I’ve already failed humanity enough,” he said, shoulders slumping.

Hendrik looked almost sympathetic before his own grief flashed across his features. He blamed himself for not noticing Jasper’s turn, and he imagined he’d be carrying that for the rest of his days. Or at least until he could be confronted. He snapped out of his own thoughts to offer Eleven a handshake.

“You may feel like you have failed,” Hendrik took a moment to swallow the lump that had appeared in his throat, his own failures still very fresh on his mind. "But you have been given a rare second chance to make it right.”

* * *

Erik woke up on the shores of Puerto Valor, the smell of ash and burning filling his lungs. He coughed out some sea water and sat up, looking out over the ocean. Things had gone from bad to worse very quickly, but the ocean brought a constant calm. 

“Hey, are you alright out there?” a voice called out. Erik looked over and nodded slowly, unsure. 

“Yeah, I think so.” He called back. The voice belonged to a local fisherman. He looked Erik over, noticing he was clearly not from the area.

“Is there somewhere you belong, son? What’s your name?” He said, walking over and extending an arm to help him up. He looked up, bewilderment clouding his mind.

“I...I don’t know. All I can remember is waking up on this beach. My name is Erik. Yeah. That sounds right,” he said nervously. His left hand twitched at his side, reaching for something that wasn’t there. He slowly lowered it back down, not understanding the reflex. 

"Well Erik, if you don't mind, we could really use some help cleaning up around here."

* * *

As soon as they had arrived at the old church south of Heliodor, El made a beeline for the back room. He threw the door open, his shoulders going slack when it was empty. Of course it was empty, why would he expect anything more? He sat on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his hands as a vivid memory flashed through his mind.

_Past - Church in the Foothills_

El awoke to a somewhat familiar voice.

“C’mon, up ya get!” Erik said with a hint of teasing. He was quickly falling into comfort around his new companion, which surprised him. He was normally slow to trust. Jumping to almost imminent death together must have sidestepped that phase of their friendship entirely.

El slowly opened his eyes as they adjusted to the new surroundings. He sighed in relief when he saw Erik sitting awkwardly in a chair scooted next to his bed. How long had he been out? Erik leaned in and brushed the back of his hand against El’s forehead, checking his temperature. El startled a little at the touch.

“Well, seems like you’re in fighting shape, what do you say we get out of here?” he said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.

El nodded in agreement, smiling. He was quickly realizing he’d follow Erik quite literally anywhere.

They thanked the nun that had allowed them to use the church’s spare room and headed outside to form a game plan. Erik began describing their next destination, Downtown Heliodor, in detail. He’d been there many a time over the course of his thieving career, and he wanted to make sure that El knew what to expect. It was a far cry from the quiet country he was used to.

El swore he was listening to what Erik was saying, but if someone had asked him to repeat it back, he wouldn’t have had a clue. Something about going back into Heliodor for an Orb, blah blah, Cobblestone, blah _Gods, his eyes are so pretty_.

El blinked himself back to reality, Erik was grinning at him, holding out a hood.

“Put that on, hopefully it’ll disguise you enough to avoid questions.” _Although it is a shame to hide those eyes_, he thought. Erik had quickly become fond of the way El looked at everything new, wide-eyed and full of wonder.

El gave him a thumbs up after tying the strings at his throat.

“Ready when you are.”

_Present - Church in the Foothills_

El let out a heavy sigh as he fought back the tears. Going back to all of the places that he and Erik had begun their journey nearly a year ago tugged uncomfortably at his heart. He took a few deep breaths, and almost jumped out of his skin when Hendrik pushed the door open.

“Are you ready? We should get moving. Every moment we wait is another the Bastion could fall.”

El nodded curtly, standing up without looking back at the empty room. What was the use of finding Erik if the world was in shambles? He had to fight back the darkness one step at a time, and hopefully begin to see the light.

* * *

The battle at Heliodor Castle had been brutal, with some ghosts from Hendrik’s past coming to light thanks to a strangely placed Yggdrasil root. Eleven had felt almost intrusive seeing Hendrik and Jasper’s past, their childhood memories growing up together. But seeing those moments helped Eleven realize that he was not the only one who had lost a companion. He had a newfound empathy for Hendrik, realizing he was searching for some closure as well. 

After the battle was won, Eleven and Hendrik began to make their way back to the Bastion to announce their victory. They had banished the evil that had taken over the castle, the sun was once again shining, and things in the Heliodorian region looked a little less desolate. Almost back to how it was before, except for the still smouldering craters, more vicious monsters, and obvious signs of destruction. 

They passed a field that looked mostly unburned, and Eleven wordlessly turned and walked out into the middle and fell backwards, staring up at the sky. Hendrik followed and looked up as well, admiring the sun. 

"It’s funny how much you take things like the sky for granted. I'm glad the sun is back," El said, letting the sunlight warm his face. 

Hendrik made a sound of approval. "That is very true. I'm glad it has returned as well." He looked down at El lying back peacefully, feeling guilty for what he was about to ask. "Your other companions, have you heard anything of them?"

_Past - The Emerald Coast_

Erik threw himself back into the patch of wildflowers, folding his hands behind his head before settling his gaze on the sky. Eleven laid down next to him, watching the wind whip the clouds into a slow motion dance. 

They had successfully retrieved the Red Orb, much to Erik’s pleasure. With the keystone in hand, their next destination was the Door of Departure. El had no idea what was on the other side of the mystical door, or what they’d have to face, but with Erik by his side he was confident in their odds.

"That one looks like a bird," he said, pointing upward. El contemplated, then pointed out another.

"That one looks like a shark." 

Erik snorted. "Have you ever seen a shark before?"

El stuck out his tongue. "I've seen plenty of sharks. Where's your imagination?" 

"Must have left it at home," Erik replied. He always had a quick witted answer to everything, another thing to add to the quickly growing list of things El admired in Erik. 

His hand twitched at his side, fighting the urge to grab the other boy's hand. They'd only known each other for the better part of a week, but his crush was growing quicker than he knew it could. He clenched and unclenched his hand instead, trying to keep his feelings in check. Erik turned to look at him with shining blue eyes, making that much more difficult.

"Do you mind if I keep tagging along with you? Feel free to kick me to the curb anytime, but I should warn you - the more time you spend with me, the more you're gonna want to keep me around. I grow on people, like a fungus." He grinned. El quickly realized he wouldn’t mind seeing that grin every day for the rest of forever.

Eleven did everything he could to not to break out in a full blush. After a few heavy moments of silence, he found his voice. "I would like that. Fungus and all."

Erik held out his hand and this time Eleven did grab it in a firm handshake. 

"Partners."

_Present - Heliodorian Highlands_

Eleven opened his eyes and shook his head slowly, willing the tears back. 

"No, I have no idea where they are, or if they're even alive," he said, his composure beginning to slip on the last word. 

Hendrik crossed his arm over his chest, making a fist over his heart. "Then I swear to be your sword and shield, your protector. We will go out and find them, then we will take down this Dark Lord," he said, chest puffed out and chin held high. Eleven almost giggled at the fanfare of it all, but he realized this was Hendrik's way, and he truly meant it. His chest swelled, a moment of happiness. 

"Thank you, Hendrik."

"It's the least I can do after I falsely hunted you and your friends across the world," he scoffed. 

Eleven shook his head, dismissing the thought. "That's in the past. Mordegon was using you. I don't blame you for any of it. I know you’re a good person, Hendrik." 

Hendrik gave the ghost of a smile, accepting the offer. 

Eleven fought down the bittersweet deja vu churning in his stomach. He was happy to no longer be alone, but it wasn’t the same. 

Erik was out there somewhere, and he would traverse the entire continent to find him.


	2. Avalanche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"So baby, can we dance / Oh, through an avalanche?"_

El wiped blood from his cheek and did his best to clean his sword off in the snow. They had finally reached the secluded mountain village of Angri-La after several days of scaling treacherous caves and steep, snow-covered pathways. 

He couldn’t tell if it was the thin mountain air or the bubbling anxiety making his throat tight.

It tore at his heart leaving the Bastion so soon, their first bit of good news since everything went to hell, but he made sure to promise Gemma and Amber that he would be back as soon as he could. He owed everyone far too much to break any more promises.

El snapped out of his head long enough to realize Hendrik was speaking to him. Something about never being here before.

Eleven’s adventure thus far had taken him all across Erdrea, and the fact that they’d never stumbled across this place surprised him. Especially if they had information about the Luminary.

They were quickly greeted outside by the High Lama. He explained that their Grand Master had perished protecting the village, and El’s heart sank. Another tally on the walls of his mind, another person he couldn’t save. His shoulders slouched under the invisible weight.

“We have awaited you, Luminary. Since the day of your birth. You are a prince of Dundrasil, six years of your young life would have been spent here training under the Grand Master.”

Hendrik looked to El, impressed. He was well aware of El’s true lineage, but it was not a topic of discussion. Hendrik tried to breach the subject a few times and was met with one word answers and steely silence. Sometimes it was necessary to let sleeping dogs lie for the time being. 

“Imagine how different life would have been. A decent portion of your childhood would have been spent here,” he said, squaring his shoulders. 

Eleven folded his arms across his chest, wrapping his hands around his waist as if holding himself together. He could blame it on the cold, but thinking about Dundrasil always made him feel like a strong gust of wind could tear him apart. Add it to the list of hometowns that met demise simply for housing the Luminary.

He was well aware of how his life could have been if Dundrasil hadn’t fallen. He tried not to think about it too often. When he did, it only reminded him of how much he needed to beat Mordegon into oblivion. For his people, his parents, and now his friends and all of Erdrea who had already suffered far too much.

______________________________

Hendrik, Eleven, and the High Lama stood in the middle of the perfectly polished marble training grounds.

“Luminary, this is where you would have been trained, as your grandfather Lord Robert was. Many great princes before you have trained here, and hopefully once the world is restored to peace, you may return and finally accept your birthright.”

El nodded in response. He appreciated the offer, but he didn’t want to think about the future. He wanted to think about right now, about finding his friends, his _family_…

“Excuse me, I’ll be back in a moment.” El walked briskly toward the stairs, clenching and unclenching his fists to try and keep the tears at bay until he was alone.

He tripped down the last few steps and landed on his knees, decompressing like a tense muscle, letting the tears flow. After a few moments of gasping for air, he got himself back up on his feet and shambled over to the railing overlooking the mountains. A quick wave of his hand healed the brush burns on his knees.

Eleven thought about his grandfather, who had been the last prince to train in Angri-La. His nails dug into his palms. Rab was older, but he was smart as a whip and one of the most determined people he’d ever met. He had to have survived.

Hendrik soon caught up to him, his equipment making enough noise that Eleven could sense he was no longer alone on the balcony.

“I must apologize.” Hendrik began, gazing out across the mountains for a moment before refocusing on Eleven’s still-turned back. “All of this talk of your past, of what could have been...I understand it is all rather upsetting. I apologize if I have asked too many questions.”

El wiped his eyes before turning to face Hendrik, but there was no hiding it. As soon as he saw the empathy on Hendrik’s face he unsuccessfully choked back a sob, wrenching his eyes shut and bringing his arm up to catch his running nose.

Eleven cursed himself, would he ever be able to hold it together?

“Perhaps we should retire until dinner is served.” Hendrik offered, not quite sure how to deal with the crumbling Luminary before him.

El nodded with a loud sniffle and allowed Hendrik to lead up the stairs to the sleeping quarters that had been arranged for them.

______________________________

After yet another restless night, the High Lama informed them of a hermit that was likely trapped at the summit of the mountain by monsters the next morning. El nodded sagely, they would go to retrieve the traveler at once.

El was quickly learning that doing whatever he could to help those that were left was soothing to the gaping hole in his heart. By no means did it begin to fill it, but it made him forget for a bit. And for now, that had to be enough.

They carved their way through the caves, and in less than two hours’ time they had reached the summit. El rubbed his arms and stepped beside Hendrik to try and block the chilling wind. 

El spotted an altar in the distance, and began crunching through the fresh snow towards it. Whoever was stuck up here, it had been quite a while. There were no footprints in the snow aside from his own. El stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the pack on the ground next to the altar. 

_No._

Hendrik was soon beside him, realizing the same.

“Certainly, it couldn’t be…” he trailed off, seeing the pack and the clothes the extremely gaunt man wore.

“Lord Robert.” The High Lama spoke, confirming their fears. He was unresponsive, in a trance. The High Lama explained that he could send Eleven to the same place Rab had gone, the Void. 

Eleven closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he was no longer on the mountain. The sky swirled with hues of purple, and the only structure he could see was a bridge leading to a domed building. 

As jarring as the change of scenery was, this place offered peace to Eleven’s restless soul. He took a few deep breaths, letting his chest rise and fall without the feeling of several hundred pounds holding him under.

Once inside the building, he was met by a strikingly beautiful woman. She was graceful and stern, and something about her seemed oddly familiar. She introduced herself as Master Pang, and explained to Eleven that the place where they resided was a passage of sorts for souls returning to Yggdrasil. 

Since the fall the flow had been disrupted, and now souls stayed here until they were lost forever, unable to return from whence they came. 

The weight came crushing back, making Eleven gasp for air. So everyone that had died couldn’t even find peace in the afterlife. Pang sensed his unrest and extended her arm behind her.

“Come, Luminary. I believe there is someone here who will be very glad to see you.”

______________________________

Seeing his grandfather alive and well dulled the ache considerably. His laugh was just as hearty as El remembered.

“Aye, laddie. I’m glad t’ see ye alive and well, but we have bigger fish t’ fry at the moment.”

Eleven nodded. Rab’s time in the void was growing short by El’s judge of what was left of his physical form.

Pang had taught Rab an invaluable new skill during his time here, and combined with Eleven’s Luminary abilities they would be devastating. Time was of the essence, so they wasted none.

Eleven stood in the middle of the training grounds and channeled everything he could into the blade of light. The ground lit up with a sigil and a powerful light descended from the sky, blinding everything within the arena. He dropped to one knee, catching his breath.

“Impressive, but we still have work to do.” Master Pang approached from the sideline and regarded her new student. “A shame we couldn’t have trained you as a young prince.” She mused. 

“Yer not the only one t’ wish that were true, Grand Master,” Rab interjected. Dundrasil would have survived, and maybe too his lost daughter and her husband, the king. He closed his eyes for a moment as the visions returned. He saw Eleven growing from a small boy into a stately young man, his daughter and son in law proudly watching on. 

Rab opened his eyes and wiped the stray tear that had formed, and took in the image of the young man Eleven had actually become. Circumstances taken into account, he had a lot to be proud of. He pushed the thoughts of what could have been aside, they had no place here. They had a Dark Lord to defeat, and then maybe, just maybe they could have a chance at the future that never was. 

_Past - Campsite North of Gallopolis_

The sound of metal on metal began to grate on Veronica’s ears. 

“How long are you two idiots going to fling blades at each other until someone ends up stabbed?” she shouted. They stopped for a moment to look at her, then went right back to sparring. She huffed and sat under their makeshift shade. 

“It’s a good thing, that they’re training. The Luminary does look a bit younger than I expected,” Serena said, fanning herself with her hand. “I just hope we’re able to protect him when the time comes.”

Veronica snorted and gave her a heavy side-eye. “You worry too much.”

They watched on as Erik and Eleven danced around one another. Erik was much more graceful, but what Eleven lacked in grace he made up for in force. One of them lunged forward to strike, the other would block, and again. 

Erik taunted, and whatever he said must have struck a nerve. 

El let out a battle cry, and the next strike found Erik flat on his back. Before he had the chance to push off the ground to try and recover, El was hovering over him, hot breath on his face. Both of his wrists were pressed into the dirt beside his head, and El’s knee dug into the dirt between his legs. He was effectively pinned.

Erik tried to focus on taking deep, steady breaths instead of getting entirely lost in the seemingly endless pools of blue fixated on his own. They stayed like that for a moment, both panting and wide-eyed.

El’s head swam, all he would have to do is lean down just a bit...His head tilted to the side as he imagined what it would feel like, _taste like_. 

Erik grinned up at him, tipping his chin up so their noses brushed. When he finally found his voice, it came out much more ragged than he was expecting.

“Nice one. You got me.”

El snapped out of his daydream and jumped off of Erik like his skin burned, muttering an apology. El couldn't meet Erik’s eyes when he cleared his throat to speak.

“I gotta go, uh...bathroom. Be right back.” Erik jogged over to the tallest cactus he could find and sat behind it, shielding him from the view of the others. He let out a shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair. What in the hell was _that_? 

Eleven sheathed his sword and strode over to the shade, plopping himself down in between the twins. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and took a hearty swig from his waterskin. 

Veronica eyed him curiously. “That was an interesting technique. Eleven, do you always pin your enemies down like you want to kiss them?” She pried, a wry smile creeping its way across her face.

He spat the water out in shock, wiping his mouth and praying that it wiped his blush off along with it.

“...No.” He finally mumbled, keeping his eyes on the wet spot on the ground in front of him, watching it evaporate away. He had no explanation that wouldn’t completely give everything away. He didn’t think he’d been that obvious.

Serena lightly bumped her sister's shoulder with her own, trying to quell her badgering. “Veronica, don’t pester him. They were just having fun.” 

Veronica began to snicker. She wasn't convinced in the slightest. She muttered something about them ‘having fun’, but Eleven tried to block it out before he passed out from embarrassment. His face continued to redden as his mind ran wild, and if anyone asked he’d blame it on the sun.

Erik soon returned and sat down next to Serena. Eleven passed him the water before he could ask. He nodded a silent thanks before downing half the container, letting some of it spill onto his face to cool off. 

He felt a pair of eyes on him, and he didn’t have to look over to know El was watching him. Part of him wanted to reach over and pull him onto his lap for the stunt he pulled earlier, but the rational side reminded him that he was the Luminary and they were on a mission. This was no time for flirting, as much as he wanted to. And he really wanted to.

They’d been playing this game for a few weeks now, ever since passing through the Door of Departure. They’d poke at each other until someone got flustered, a game of chicken that would eventually turn dangerous if they weren’t careful.

El averted his eyes to the ground before Erik could return his gaze. He knew it wasn’t the time or place for these confusing feelings. They had more pressing matters - like locating this holy branch they’d heard about in Hotto.

Hotto. El shivered despite the oppressive heat and humidity. The steam baths had been an experience. It was casual enough, until Erik had leaned in _much too close_ to swipe a piece of hair that was stuck to his forehead behind his ear. Sometimes he wondered if Erik did those things just to get a rise out of him.

“Hey, El. You in there?” Erik snapped a few times in front of his face, startling him out of his memory.

“Huh? Yeah, sorry. Must be the heat.” He wiped the sweat off his forehead for the hundredth time and leaned back on his elbows, rolling his sleeves up as high as they would go. Veronica scoffed.

“Long sleeves in the desert, honestly. You two are the dumbest adventurers I’ve ever seen.”

Erik grinned back and grabbed their waterskins. “Ah-ah-ah, watch what you say before I go to fill your water. Maybe I’ll drink half of it before I get back.”

She balled her fists at her sides. “You’d better not!”

Erik looked to El and winked before starting off in search of the last oasis they came across. Butterflies erupted in his stomach as he smiled what he hoped was a normal smile in return.

He was doomed.

_Present - Angri La, The Void_

El blinked a few times before becoming aware of where he was. 

"Daydreaming?" Pang asked, thwapping the naughty stick on her open palm. El winced before he even felt the sting on his rear. "Enough. We still have much to do and less time. Again."

___________________________

Erik sat alone in a fishing boat, just off the coastline. He had almost nodded off twice now, and he hadn't even caught enough to feed himself, let alone the others. He sighed and jiggled the line a bit. His dagger sat by his side in case of monsters, which seemed to turn up much more than fish.

Every so often Erik would get a flash of a memory, a fragment. They were always so bright, almost blindingly so. The headaches they brought were increasingly painful, so much so that he usually had to take a moment before doing anything else once they passed. He tried his best to pay attention to these fragments, but they never lasted long enough to yield any sort of helpful information about who he was. 

A small part of him didn’t care about who he used to be. He wanted to start over, whoever he was couldn’t have been that important if he was left to wash up on a beach, alone. 

But the larger part of him cared more than anything. Every time the hopeless thoughts crept up on him, something tugged at his heart as if to tell him that he was important, at least to someone. Again, a bright light flashed in his memory, and the faintest hint of a voice. A soft, quiet voice calling out to him. Asking him to come home. 

His fishing rod suddenly jerked to the side, snapping him out of the vision. He grabbed the flimsy pole and yanked as hard as he could. Maybe they would be eating tonight, after all.

___________________________

El’s eyes snapped open and he inhaled sharply, coming out of his trance. Rab did as well, nearly collapsing from the strain that was placed on his body from being in the void for so long.

Once El was lucid enough, he cast Zoom to get them all back to the temple safely. El fell into bed and was out before he even had the chance to get comfortable. All of that void nonsense took more out of him than he thought. He just hoped Rab was able to recover, he was basically dead on arrival when he came to. 

He mentally scolded his grandfather for being so careless, he couldn’t bear to lose anyone at this point, and the fact that he had pushed his body to the absolute limit...El shook his head and banished the thought. What was important was that he was back, and they had a new skill to hopefully aid in their fight. 

His mind wandered to Master Pang, stuck in the void. He felt guilty, she had perished trying to protect the temple from the fall. He had a feeling his mental list would continue to grow as they traveled, until he was no longer able to keep track of who he owed an apology.

The next morning, they were packed and ready to continue on their way. Rab suggested heading off through the Champs Sauvage, and El quickly agreed. He could stop by the Academie and make sure everything was alright there, as well as trade in his medals for some new supplies.

Hopefully they would come across a hint or two of where the rest of their gang may be along the way. If the Academie didn’t yield anything, Phnom Nonh was just a ways down the road. 

Rab rested a hand on Eleven shoulder as they looked back at Angri La one last time.

“Don’t worry, laddie. He’s out there somewhere. I can feel it. There isnae way he’d leave ye alone for too long.”

Eleven hoped with all that was left of his heart that he was right.


	3. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ “Cause it’s gravity / Oh, keeping you with me” _

It took much less time to make it down the mountain than it had to climb up, even with the short breaks they took for Rab’s knees. 

They found themselves at the Academie in no time at all, and El was more than relieved to see that no harm had come to the school. He went to visit the headmaster to trade what he had for stamps, and made sure to check in with some of the students as well. All seemed as usual here.

A small weight lifted from his chest, and for a moment he felt like he could breathe again. Something began to glow out of the corner of his eye, and he turned to spot a Yggdrasil root. He’d forgotten there was one here. 

El walked up to the glowing root, she had something to show him. He was hesitant - this was probably a bad idea, more than he could handle. Memories were all he had, maybe replaying them would give him a hint of where to find Erik. El reached out and placed a hand on the root, his mind suddenly aglow.

_Past - Campsite near Hotto_

“Man, the stars really shine brighter out here. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Erik leaned back, his arms folded behind his head. El sat beside him, his knees pulled to his chest. 

“It makes me miss Cobblestone,” he mumbled. Erik leaned up on one arm, his attention fully turned to his travelling partner. El quickly swiped a tear from his cheek, but it was too late. Erik had already seen it.

“Hey, hey. C’mere.” Erik sat up fully and extended his arms. El scooted over and let Erik wrap an arm around his shoulder. He rested his head under Erik’s chin, fully indulging in the closeness. He didn’t realize how much he just needed to take a moment and let the bad feelings out. 

Erik slowly rubbed his hand up and down El’s arm in silent consolation. It felt nice. Nice enough that El relaxed enough to share more of what was on his mind. 

“It feels weird, not having a home.”

Erik took a moment, this guy really had lost everything in the last few days. His friends and family nowhere to be found, his hometown leveled by those bastards from Heliodor - They’d been running nonstop for two weeks, this was the first moment they really had to sit and process everything that had happened. Escaping through a magical door to the other end of the world had hopefully bought them some time. 

“I’m sorry about Cobblestone, El. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

He was quiet for a while, content enjoying the comfort and warmth in Erik’s embrace. For all of the criminals he could have met in those dungeons, he’d really lucked out.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Erik.”

Something about this moment gave Erik some courage. El wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable, an open book. Maybe Erik could take a page from it.

“I haven’t really had a home for almost five years,” Erik said, realization dawning. His heart ached. Had it really been that long since - he shook his head lightly and continued.

"Travelling all over the world I learned that home doesn’t always have to be a place. It can be a person, or a few people." 

As much as he hated where he came from, Mia was still there waiting for him. A rush of homesickness washed over him like nausea, his hand tensed by his side.

El nodded in sudden understanding.

"Yeah. You’re right. I think home for me now is a person. It's you," he blurted. El looked over to Erik wide-eyed, why didn’t that stay in his head? 

Erik flushed, meeting his eyes with a grin. He squeezed El’s shoulder in reassurance before withdrawing his arm back.

"I was thinking the same thing, partner.”

_Present - La Academie de Notre Maitre les Medailles_

El fell to his knees like the air had been kicked out of his chest. Once again he was without his home, literal and figurative.

He had just begun to get used to the empty feeling in his chest, but now it gaped more than ever, the ragged edges blowing in the breeze.

As soon as he found his breath again, he stood and looked at the root with disdain.

“Yggie...that was mean.”

He supposed he deserved it, he couldn’t stop Her from being killed.

“Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I am the Darkspawn,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. A voice from behind startled him so much he almost drew his sword.

“Now, now laddie, ye know that’s not true.”

Rab stood a few feet back, giving El space. “What did she show ye?”

Eleven turned around while trying to blink away the tears, and Rab knew. 

He knew all too well what it felt to lose those closest to him, to be constantly reminded. He took a tentative step forward and offered his arms out.

Eleven didn’t miss a beat, falling into the embrace. He had to remind himself to be grateful of those he did have with him, instead of fixating on those he still had yet to find. One step at a time.

Rab patted his back before letting go, wiping a tear of his own.

“Let’s get a move on. Hendrik says we should stop in ol’ Phnom Nonh to restock on a few things before heading out.”

El nodded, he’d seen quite enough here.

___________________________

Bright light flashed in Erik’s mind, causing him to trip and fall down the last few steps. He saw...the outline of a person, hair blowing in the breeze, a smile? When he came to, his hands were clutching either side of his head, his knees scraped from falling on the stone.

“Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?”

Erik looked up as the light faded from his vision. A kind bystander had come to his aid after watching him fall.

“No, no I’m alright. Just a headache, I lost my balance. Thank you.” He carefully stood up and brushed his knees off, his hands smearing with fresh blood. He grimaced, and walked down the last few steps to the beach, taking great care not to stumble to worry anyone else.

Erik waded knee-deep into the sea, letting the salt water burn his torn skin. He stood there for a while, trying to put together what he saw in the vision. He was somewhere, with someone. Someone important by the weird way his heart started to beat faster when he tried to remember. He growled in frustration, slapping the surface of the water before turning around to wade back to shore.

“Who _are you_?”

___________________________

“Aye, is that who I think it is?” Rab said, squinting to try and make his vantage clearer. El tried his best to walk at a normal pace and not break out into a full sprint down the hill and across the bridge.

It was. He couldn’t miss it from a mile away. Sylvando stood aloft a giant parade float decked out with flashing lights, giant feathers, and a small army of peppy men dressed in bright colors and spandex. 

Oh, how he had missed Sylvando. The feeling was mutual, for as soon as he spotted Eleven he leapt off of the float in spectacular fashion and ran over to wrap him in a tight hug.

“Darling, I can’t believe it’s you! I’ve missed you so much.”

El turned so he could return the hug with as much bravado as he could muster. 

“I missed you too, Sylv. I’m really glad to see you.”

Another piece of his heart clicked back into place, along with his spine in a few places. Sylvando was safe, and was just as full of life as he remembered. Not even the end of the world could dampen his spirit, a quality El endlessly envied. 

Sylv introduced his band of merry men as the Soldiers of Smile, his found friends that had begun to travel Erdrea with him to help bring the world some happiness when it needed it most. They were in the midst of returning a weary traveler to Phnom Nonh, the roads were no longer safe to travel alone.

“Sweetheart, before we set off, I have a gift for you.”

El raised an eyebrow, what could he possibly have? 

Sylv ran around to the back of his parade float and reappeared with an elaborate dancer’s outfit much like those of his Soldiers of Smile, but more personalized. Instead of red and green, the fabric was a deep purple with beautiful embroidery. The tights were white with a flashy purple design up the side, and large, pink feathers to top off the ensemble. 

“You have no idea how much I hoped I would run into you eventually. As soon as the Soldiers of Smile banded together I had this made in the hopes that I would find you.”

El fought back tears and held the new garments close to his chest. He excused himself to change behind the float, and soon emerged fully garbed.

“Oh, honey. It’s even better than I imagined. You’re a vision!” Sylvando happily clasped his hands to his chest. 

El smiled one of the few genuine smiles he’d had in the past two weeks. He proudly took his spot at the front of the parade and bounced from one foot to the other, waving, smiling, and laughing along with the other soldiers. 

Rab and Hendrik followed and watched on with a mixture of amusement and relief. Seeing Eleven so fragile, on the brink of breaking day in and day out worried them. Moments like these were needed in a world thrown into darkness, and they’d be damned if they let it take the Luminary with it.

___________________________

Once they arrived in town, it was far from the loud and busy city Eleven remembered. It was quiet, barely a soul out in the town square. A shiver ran down his spine, the familiar chill of ‘what happened here?’ wracking through his nerves.

Sylvando shook his head with a tut. “Well this is...different. We should check on the townspeople and make sure everything is alright. What do you say, dears?”

Eleven nodded, something was definitely very wrong. After speaking with those who remained, they learned a dragon had kidnapped the people and their most prized possessions.

They marched on to confront the dragon in its lair, a cave to the south of town. They made quick work of it with Sylvando’s help, and the townspeople were freed. They were escorted back safely with a flourish, Sylv’s dancers fully enjoying the return party by dancing and partying all over town. 

After watching all of the heartfelt reunions, Sylvando quietly excused himself to the top of the main staircase, looking out over the ruins. 

After a few moments Eleven followed, it wasn’t like Sylvando to duck out of a party. He arrived at the top of the stairs and heard a faint sniffling. Eleven’s concern spiked, he’d never heard Sylv _cry_ before.

“Oh, darling I didn’t see you there. I just...is it alright if we head to Puerto Valor next? I think I may need to pay my Papi a visit.”

“Of course. We could use the atmosphere, I think.” El shuddered internally, every place they’d been to so far had suffered one way or another from the fall, he hoped the beautiful seaside city of Puerto Valor was at least spared for the time being. For everything Sylv had done for him, he had no problems fulfilling this simple request.

___________________________

Eleven rested his arms on the banister and gazed out at the busy town below. He was happy to see Phnom Nonh back to its usual hustle and bustle. El hoped once they were finished with Puerto Valor Sylv would join them on their journey, but he also understood if he wanted to lay low back home. He wouldn’t blame him for wanting to stay close to family.

Things had been so different the last time they were here. El closed his eyes and his mind wandered back to happier times.

_Past - Phnom Nonh_

El stood out on the inn’s balcony, enjoying the cool night air. Lean arms wrapped around his waist from behind and hugged him tight. Warm breath tickled his ear as Erik rested his chin on El’s shoulder.

"Hey, whaddaya say we climb up to the roof? I saw some railing around the corner."

El nodded in agreement. The lights would look quite nice from the roof, and he had a bit of a surprise to liven the night.

Erik loosened his grip on El’s waist. Before Erik released him, he snuck a light kiss to El’s cheek. 

El turned to face him, and produced a bottle of wine from under his coat. 

"Hah, where did you get that?!" 

"Let's just say being one of the saviors of town has its perks."

They easily scaled the railing and carefully walked along the shingles until settling down on the roof. The clouds had begun to break, and the moon and stars shone brightly, further illuminating the lively town below. 

El wiggled the already loosened cork out of the bottle and took a hearty swig. He contemplated for a moment before turning to look at Erik.

“Do you think we really have a shot at this?”

Erik held his hand out and El passed him the bottle. He took a sip before answering, wrinkling his brow at the bitter taste.

“What do you mean? Taking down this ‘Dark Lord’? I’m sure whoever they are, we can handle it. I mean, we’ve got the Luminary on our side,” he said with a grin.

El reached over and punched him in the arm.

Erik knew he didn’t necessarily like the title, especially coming from him. To El they were just them, nothing more, nothing less. He was perfectly content with that. Titles complicated things.

“Hey, don’t look so serious. We just took down a major baddie! Whatever’s on the horizon I’m sure we’ll make it through. I’ll be right there with you.” He leaned over and gave El’s shoulder a nudge to bring the point home.

El scooted closer until they were side by side. He leaned his head down on Erik’s shoulder, nuzzling his head a bit to get comfortable.

Erik felt wetness soaking through the fabric of his tunic. He carefully tilted El’s chin up to meet his eyes, seeing the glistening tears in the lamplight. He was beautiful even when upset. Erik swiped a fresh tear away and quickly pressed a soft kiss to El’s forehead.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“Trouble seems to follow me. Why do you want to stay?”

Erik was shocked into silence. How long had this been bugging him? He wrapped his right arm tight around El’s back and held him as close as he could without losing balance.

“If you haven’t noticed, trouble follows me too. We met in a dungeon, El. I’d say that’s fate.”

El shifted to look up at him eyes still shining, but a small smile on his face.

Erik’s heart fluttered, and the words that had been stuck on his tongue for days stayed there, for now. He really would do anything for this man. He ran his free hand through El’s hair and hummed to himself. They stayed like that for a while, passing the bottle back and forth, giggling and carrying on until it was empty. 

They lay back, connecting the stars into their own constellations and making up stories to go along with them. After a few moments of comfortable silence Erik turned to El, urgency in his eyes.

“Let me prove it to you. That I’m not going anywhere.”

El watched as he scooted closer and rolled to face him, grazing El’s cheek with a gloved hand. El’s free arm wrapped around his waist, holding him there.

Erik’s gaze held a simple question, and El gave a small nod in confirmation.

Erik leaned forward and kissed him with such purpose, with enough meaning hidden within that El would hopefully never question his loyalty again.

El’s hand moved from his waist to the nape of his neck, and the other fisted into the front of his tunic, pulling him as close as possible.

Breathing was no longer a priority. Hands wandered across shoulders, fingers curled into hair, and teeth grazed lips. They moved together in a rhythm, like they were meant to. 

Erik pressed his thumb lightly on El’s chin, wordlessly asking for a bit more. 

El quickly obliged, allowing Erik to lightly press his tongue into his mouth.

Sure, they'd kissed before, but this..._this_ was something entirely new. Erik was letting his walls crumble, finally allowing himself a bit of vulnerability, and El was more than happy to meet him on the other side. A silent surrender, communicated through touch and feeling alone.

Erik broke away gasping, pupils blown and lips red.

“Bed?”

The question was innocent, but that didn’t stop El’s mind from going somewhere else for a moment. He carefully got up and grabbed Erik’s hand, pulling him over to climb down.

They were lucky this was one of the few times they shared a room with no one else. Back when money was tight they’d squeeze four of them into a room, or trek back to the Stallion for the night to save a few coins. 

Once the door was closed behind them El tugged Erik over to the bed and sat down, pulling Erik into his lap. He wasted no time in resuming where they left off.

El slid his hands from Erik’s hair down his neck to his shoulders, and lightly pushed his tunic loose so it fell to his elbows. His lips found skin from just under his ear all the way down to his collarbones. Each kiss brought new feelings, exciting feelings. Things El wasn’t sure he was ready to feel just yet, but damn if it wasn’t addictive.

Erik squirmed in El’s lap at each brush of lips to his skin, breathless groans escaping his mouth. He slipped a hand under El’s chin and tilted it up to look at him with an intensity before capturing his lips again. Erik leaned into him enough that El lost his balance and fell back into the pillows. They broke apart and into giggles.

“Safe to say we should call it a night?” His voice was rough and eyelids heavy. 

El had never seen a more desirable thing in his life. But Erik was right. They would have plenty of time to explore these feelings further.

Erik removed the rest of his tunic, and El followed suit, pulling his own shirt over his head and tossing it onto the lone chair in the corner. 

They snuggled close, Erik’s head resting on El’s chest. 

El ran his fingers through Erik’s hair, admiring the softness as it lulled him to sleep. Neither of them had ever slept as comfortably as they did in each other’s arms. 

Everything else could go to hell, but please, _please_ let this one thing go right.

___________________________

“And where were you last night? Smooching in the shadows with your little thief?” Sylvando prodded.

El tried his damnedest to hide the smile that so easily broke across his face. Sylv was good. Too good.

“Oh sweetheart, we know. You’d have to be half dead not to notice.” He sauntered off with a wink, leaving a blushing and half mortified El on the steps of the inn.

Well, at least he didn’t have to make an awkward announcement like he was dreading. Erik was soon by his side, fingers intertwining with his own.

“Ready, partner?” 

El gave him a dazzling smile in return and nodded as they followed their friends toward the town entrance.

_Present - Phnom Nonh_

"Where are you?" El whispered into the wind, fresh tears at the corners of his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and turned to meet his companions downstairs.

“Are we ready to depart?” Hendrik asked, tightening the strap holding his greatsword.

“Aye, it’ll be nice t’ catch up with ol’ Rodrigo. It’s been too long.” Rab mused, twirling his moustache between his fingers.

El gave a curt nod, and they set off for Puerto Valor.

___________________________

They had safely made it through the canyon with minimal damage, Sylvando and his parade were proving to be extremely competent in fighting off monsters. El hadn’t even unsheathed his sword before the threat disappeared into smoke, obliterated.

The gates of Puerto Valor soon loomed in the distance. The closer they got, the more tense Sylvando grew.

Eleven had put the pieces of Sylvando’s origins together the first time they had visited Puerto Valor. Hendrik on the other hand, was a little slower on the uptake. He caught on as they traveled, seeing Sylvando’s fighting style for the past few days jogged his memory. He froze in place, realization slapping him in the face. 

“Sylvando. That is not your real name.”

Sylvando turned to face him, hand on his hip.

“So you finally figured it out, did you? Honestly, Hendrik, it took you long enough. It’s not like we grew up training together or anything!” Sylvando threw his arms up in the air, exasperated. His next words carried a mocking tone. 

“Well, I should just be honored that the great knight ‘Hendrik of Heliodor’ remembers little old me.”

“So it is you. Why is it that you are afraid to return home?”

Sylvando took a long look at the city gates and then down at his feet.

“Papi and I didn’t necessarily end things on the best of terms.” 

Hendrik nodded in understanding.

“I see. In any case I’m sure he’d be happy to see you well in these desperate times. Let us move forward.”

Sylvando was shocked to hear any sense of condolences from Hendrik of all people, but he gave him a small smile and a nod in appreciation. His confidence refreshed with his friends by his side, Sylvando linked El’s arm in his own and marched toward the city gates with his soldiers in tow.


	4. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I’d hold you as the water rushes in / If I could dance with you again”_

Eleven strode through the gates of Puerto Valor with Rab, Sylvando, and Hendrik by his side. It seemed like each of the places where he’d recovered someone he’d had a gut feeling. Today was no different, and his heart ached at the possibility. He was glad to have some of his friends back safely, but he couldn’t stop thinking about-

Eleven wheeled around at the sight of spiked blue hair disappearing around a corner and froze. Before his mind could string it all together he began sprinting toward the beach. It had to be.

"Hey - where are you running off to?" Sylvando shouted after him. He shook his head with a laugh and turned his attention back to his army of smiling soldiers. 

"Kids, right?"

_Past - Shores of Puerto Valor_

Erik and Eleven sat where the water just touched the sand, their feet bare. Sylvando was nowhere to be found, and the twins were out scoping the city. Erik had gravitated right to the shoreline, and El had followed without a word.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Erik’s hand drifting over to rest on Eleven’s. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and they laced fingers together, relaxing further into the sea breeze and sunshine. 

Eleven lived for moments like these, moments where he could just relax and forget about his destiny. If life were simple, he could return to Cobblestone with Erik and live out his days as a humble farmer. Or they could choose somewhere else to live if the quiet life wasn’t what he wanted - If he would even want to stay with Eleven without a common goal or imminent threat to humanity. 

They had been traveling together for three months now, but they had only been together for a few weeks. Self doubt took a hold on his mind, his free hand burying itself in the sand.

Erik saw the knot in El’s brow and leaned closer.

“What are you thinking about? If you scrunch your face any harder it’s going to get stuck.” He ran a thumb gently across El’s forehead, attempting to smooth out the ever appearing worry lines. 

Eleven snapped out of his thoughts and let his shoulders slouch, exhaling the breath that was trapped with his internal turmoil. Erik always had a special way of melting the tension with a simple touch. It was nice to finally be able to act on all of the impulses to reach out and touch him, no excuses needed.

“Just...thinking about what life could be like without all of this ‘save the world’ business.” A light blush dusted his cheeks as he stared out to sea.

Erik quirked an eyebrow and ducked his head shyly, an uncharacteristic reaction. After a few moments he mustered the courage to ask the question stuck on his tongue. “Am I a part of this life?” He raised his gaze, turquoise eyes on ocean blue. 

El’s blush grew darker. Something about Erik’s undivided attention still made him nervous.

“Yeah, of course. If you want to be.” 

Erik moved his free hand to cup El’s face.

“I’ll _always_ want to be.” He sealed his promise with a soft kiss, affirmation. They leaned against one another, shoulders touching. Erik let his head fall to Eleven’s shoulder, and in turn Eleven wrapped his arm around Erik, pulling him as close as he could get. 

El whispered once his breath returned to him, smiles breaking across both their faces.

“Partners.”

_Present - Shores of Puerto Valor_

Eleven reached the beach gasping for breath and whipped his head around frantically searching. He saw him. He was sure of it. When there was no sign of Erik he dug the tip of his boot into the sand, making a frustrated divot before kicking the loose sand into the wind. Was his desperation starting to turn into something more serious?

Just inside the local fisherman’s club steps away from where Eleven sat, Erik shut the door behind him and plopped the small net full of fish on the floor.

“Not bad. Looks like you’ve earned dinner.”

Dinner ended up being a very stale hunk of bread and whatever mystery meat they were able to fish out of the ocean. Erik had quickly learned to not ask too many questions, and as long as it wasn’t poisonous it was edible. Something was better than nothing.

“Ow, damn it!” He cursed to himself cutting his gums on the rock-hard piece of bread. He slumped into his chair and dreamed of days where he’d be able to eat a full, fresh meal.

____________________

Sylvando squared his shoulders and stared up at the large manor. El stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“We’re right behind you.”

His soldiers of smile yelled out cheers of encouragement as well, and with that Sylvando marched up to the giant wooden doors. He took a deep breath before pushing them open with a flourish. The servants panicked at the sight of the small army of feathered young men, scrambling to keep them contained in the main room. Even with the small commotion, Sylvando didn’t miss a step. After a short conversation with Servantes and his identity revealed, he was allowed into his father’s room.

El had never seen Sylvando so meek, but with the support of himself, Hendrik, and Rab, he was able to talk to Don Rodrigo. The Don was happy to see his son well, but upset that he would return before his knight’s pledge to make the entire world smile was fulfilled.

“Papi, I have one small favor to ask you before we head out.” 

Don Rodrigo raised a tentative eyebrow. “What is it that you need, my son?”

“I’ve gathered quite a following parading across Erdrea, and my boys need someone to look after them. Could you make sure they stay safe while I’m gone?”

Rodrigo took a moment to think, he knew there was no way he could say no. He was immensely proud and sentimental of his son walking in his own mother’s footsteps, using laughter and love to help those in need.

“Of course, son. I will look after them.” 

Sylvando clapped his hands with glee, ushering all of the soldiers into the room to meet their new tío Rodrigo.

Don Rodrigo immediately looked overwhelmed with all of the young men flocking to give him a collective hug. Sylvando gave him a warm smile, he knew his father would quickly grow to love them. 

“Oh, one last thing, Papi. I have a present for you!” Sylvando sang. Before the Don could protest, Sylvando slipped a tunic over his head, topped with a feathered headpiece just like his own. He stood back and admired his work. 

“Ah, perfect. Now you really look the part.”

Rodrigo grumbled, but underneath the facade he couldn’t help but see his late wife shine through their son. He may not have become the knight Rodrigo expected, but he was proud nonetheless.

Sylvando gave a heartfelt goodbye to his soldiers, his best performance skills coming in handy as he held back tears. They’d helped him through some of the toughest moments of the last few months, and he definitely wouldn’t have been where he was now without them. Tears were shed and hugs were given all around.

“Oh Sylv, we’re going to miss you soooo much! Please hurry back.” 

“I will, darlings. We’ll give Mordegon what for and be back before you know it.” He blew a kiss before returning to the others, but Eleven was not with them.

“Where’s our sweet little Luminary?” Sylvando asked, hand on his hip. This was the second time since they’d arrived that he had run off without so much as a word. That wasn’t like him, at least not without Erik.

_Erik_. Of course. If Sylvando knew Eleven as well as he thought he did, he knew where to look first.

“Let’s split up and look for him. I have a pretty good idea of where he might be.”

____________________

Sylvando was correct in his guess, El sat on the beach not too far from the shoreline, idly drawing circles in the sand. He crouched next to El, laying a hand on his shoulder.

El startled a bit at the touch, but relaxed when he saw who it was. He tried to wipe the wetness from his face, but Sylvando was much too difficult to fool. 

“Sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” He knew. He knew as soon as he saw that the Luminary’s most steadfast companion was _not_ with him when they had met on the road to Phnom Nonh. He worried the worst, but Sylvando knew better than to ask. He figured there was a reason Eleven hadn’t already brought it up.

El took a few moments starting out to sea before turning to look at Sylvando. 

“I don’t know where Erik is. Or if he’s even-” his throat tightened too much to speak as fresh tears came.

Sylvando rubbed El’s back as he cried, offering a handkerchief once he finally lifted his head to sniffle. 

“It’s alright, honey. Let it all out.”

He did, shoulders shaking as quiet, gasping sobs escaped him. They sat like that for a while, the sounds of the waves and Sylvando's comforting presence lulling Eleven back to a stoic demeanor. The others soon found them, taking quiet seats beside Sylvando. Once El calmed down enough to speak, he lifted his head, a deadly determination in his eyes.

“I saw him today. He’s here. I can _feel_ it. I keep thinking that I’m crazy, that I’m only seeing it because I want to, but...I’d know him anywhere. Earlier today I saw him walking through the crowd down to the beach, but by the time I got here he was gone.”

“Well, I’m sure if he knew we were here, he’d come rushing to find us. I’m sorry, honey. We’ll find him.”

Eleven trusted Sylvando, but he also trusted his gut. He knew Erik was here. He wasn’t losing his mind. He wasn’t crazy.

Erik stepped out of the fisherman’s hut to see two people sitting on the sand having a pretty intense-looking conversation. They were decked out in bright colors and feathers. That was definitely a fashion choice - one he’d never make willingly. 

He walked quietly behind them to give them privacy, escaping around the other end of the building without detection. He had a weird, nagging feeling of familiarity as he walked by, an undeniable urge to stop and talk to them, but he kept on. Talking to strangers wasn’t something he enjoyed, and he wasn’t about to start now. That, and his head had begun to hurt again.

____________________

The party agreed to stay in Puerto Valor one more day for Eleven’s sake. He was on the lookout for Erik, and as he sat out on the patio and pushed his lunch around his plate it was looking less and less likely that he’d see any glimpse of bright blue milling about the streets. Rab spoke up beside him, gaining his attention for the moment.

“I heard a wee rumor about a dream haunting everyone who stays at the inn over in Zwaardsrust. Sounds worthy of a look, wouldn’t ye say?”

El nodded absently. It did sound interesting, how was it possible for everyone to have the same dream? After pondering it for only a few moments, he excused himself to take one last lap around town before leaving.

Erik watched from the small window of the fisherman’s club as crate after crate of food was loaded onto a ship at the docks. His stomach grumbled, he hadn’t had a proper meal in days. It would be so easy to just sneak over and steal a crate or two - there was only one person loading them. He rested his forehead on the glass and sighed. As hungry as he was, he didn’t want to resort to stealing others’ food. He wasn’t a thief.

It had been a few months since he woke up on the shore, dazed and unable to remember who he was. The more time that passed, the more frustrated he became with the fuzzy memories that were just beyond his reach, an itch he couldn’t quite scratch. He looked out to the docks once more and made a snap decision, part of his old personality coming to light. He grabbed his bag of belongings and ran out the door, letting it slam shut behind him.

He snuck his way up the gangplank after the last crate had been loaded, keeping to the shadows. Luckily the crew was above deck for the time being, so Erik had no trouble stashing himself away in the cargo hold.

He kept quiet until the ship started to move. There were crates upon crates of food, from fresh vegetables to bread, and everything in between. Erik wasted no time in using his knife to pry open a crate enough to reach in and grab a cabbage. Tears ran down his face as he bit in, his stomach crying out in relief. He pried a few more crates open to find apples, corn, and bread. He crouched to the floor and began stuffing his face, careful to not eat too much too quickly, lest he get sick.

As the ship began to rock back and forth in the waves, a small crate he had moved fell to the floor with a loud thump.

Erik didn’t hear it over the sound of his own chewing, but he did tense at the sound of footsteps, the door swinging open, and an audible gasp.

____________________

Eleven stood on the deck of the Stallion, looking out to sea. Another corner of the world to search. He was exhausted, sleep hadn’t come much at all in Puerto Valor. His fingers moved over the wood grain, tempting fate for a splinter. The salt spray was refreshing. He took a deep breath and filled his lungs, imagining it was a healing spell for his mind. If only.

_Past - Gondolia_

Eleven caught Erik in his arms before he could hit the ground. He hoised Erik’s limp frame in his arms and made for the Stallion. One jump and they were free from this place. As they stood on the platform, Erik placed a hand on El’s cheek to get his attention.

“I think I can jump, you don’t have to-”

“Erik, you’re hurt. Are you sure?”

He stifled a laugh that burned through his chest enough to make him visibly wince. “I guess we’ll find out, huh? If I fall just fish me out.”

El didn’t look amused in the slightest, but it was just like Erik to try and make light of an unfortunate situation. El gently set him down, making sure he could support his own weight before completely letting go.

Erik stood on his own no problem, but his range of motion wasn’t great. He looked to Eleven with a nod and they ran the rest of the way to the ledge, linking hands right before they jumped. 

Eleven landed first, pulling Erik the rest of the way. As soon as Erik’s feet hit the deck Eleven had his arms around him, holding him close but loose enough as to not irritate his injuries. Serena was by their side immediately, offering her assistance. 

Eleven reluctantly let go, wiping the tears from his eyes. As much as he wished they could just have a moment, that would have to wait. Dark magic was no joke, and Erik had taken a large dose of it. He noticed Erik wipe at his face as well, was he crying?

Serena quickly got to work, hands glowing as they hovered over Erik’s chest. He winced as a rib snapped back into place. Had the ropes really been that tight? Gashes faded until they were only faint red marks on his skin, and the intense burning that had been choking his breathing faded until it disappeared completely.

Once she was finished she stepped back with a sweet smile, nodding to Eleven. “That certainly was nasty, I’m glad we were able to give that Jasper what for.” She then looked to Erik. “Please do let me know if you feel any further pain, but you should be all fixed up!” With a little bow she stepped away, allowing the two to speak in private.

“Eleven I-”

“Erik, why-” 

They stopped when they noticed they had spoken at the same time, followed by one of the few uncomfortable silences they’d ever shared.

Before they could try to continue their conversation, the ship began to violently shake. They nodded to one another, an agreement to continue this later. As they jogged over to the rest of the party, Eleven’s mind was racing with all of the things Erik could have said, and what he desperately needed to tell him in return.

_Present - Open sea outside of Puerto Valor_

“What was that? Eleven dear, would you please?” Sylvando nodded toward the stairs and El nodded back. It was probably just a few things rolling around with the waves, but they were better safe than sorry these days. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities for something to have snuck aboard.

Eleven opened the door to the cargo bay and almost immediately passed out from shock.

There, in the middle of the floor surrounded by pried open crates and half-eaten food, was Erik. He blinked hard a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He was here, and he was alive. Before he could even think to stop them, tears were dripping from his chin to the floor.

Eleven would have run to him - he desperately wanted to run to him and tackle him to the ground in a hug, a sobbing mess.

But something wasn’t right. 

There was no recognition on Erik’s face. He looked _scared_. 

Alerted to the presence of another person, Erik fell back on his arms, hood falling from his head. He scrambled until his back hit the wall, trying to put as much distance between himself and this person as he could. His eyes darted back and forth looking for an escape.

Eleven’s heart hitched in his chest. Why was he acting this way? Why was he so afraid? He wanted to throw his head back and scream to the goddess. This was not the reunion he’d played in his head hundreds of times over the last month. 

He reached out to Erik, eyes pleading. He whispered to him, his voice quickly failing as emotions overflowed.

“Erik, it’s me. Eleven. It’s okay.”


	5. Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted.”_

_“Erik, it’s me. Eleven. It’s okay.”_

There was no recognition in Erik’s eyes, only fear. He looked like a caged animal ready to run given the appropriate opening. 

Erik clenched and unclenched his jaw, weighing his options. There was no reason to run, they were already out at sea. Jumping overboard wasn’t an option. The man across the room looked down at him like he’d been slapped across the face. 

Before he could make a move, several other people ran into the room. His eyes moved from one person to the next, something about each of them scratched at the surface of his mind. A flashy character decked out in feathers, an older man who carried a strange sense of comfort, and a towering man that made Erik want to shrink back into the wall even further. Here’s to hoping that they were a forgiving bunch, and that he didn’t end up in the brig, or worse.

“Is everything okay down here, darling? I brought the others along - Is that Erik? Oh, you’re alive!” Sylvando exclaimed, hands pressed over his heart. But from Eleven and Erik’s body language, he could clearly see something was wrong. He expected a tearful, romantic reunion, but it looked to be that Eleven was the only one with tears in his eyes. 

The others expressed their joy to see him, but each word made Erik look more frightened and confused. He fell to his knees, begging for forgiveness for hiding aboard and stealing their food.

Each out of character reaction cracked El’s heart a little further. He may have looked the same but whoever this was, it wasn’t his Erik. The scar over his chest ached like a brand as his mind began to conjure what could have happened to him over the last few months.

“Oh nonsense, dear! You’re one of us, we’d never be upset with you for something silly like that. Are you feeling okay? You’re certainly acting strange,” Sylvando asked, stepping forward with a hand on his hip.

Erik lifted his head, still on his hands and knees. “You...you called me Erik. Do you know me?”

“Och, of course we do, laddie! You’re Eleven’s partner in crime!” Rab said with a smile. 

There was a collective tug at both Erik and Eleven’s hearts at the word _partner_. Eleven’s was bittersweet, painful. He was right here, close enough to hold...but he didn’t know who Eleven, or any of them were. All of their memories, all of the sweet moments they’d shared, Erik no longer had. 

For Erik is was startling, annoying. Were these people the ones who were just out of reach in his lost memories? That thought struck an idea. He slowly stood up, hands still clasped in front of him, pleading.

“Could I tag along with you all for a while? If you knew me, maybe you could help me remember who I was.” 

Sylvando reached out, and very quickly retracted his hand when he saw Erik flinch back. His hand returned to his hip. “Of course, honey. You’re always welcome with us. We’ll take care of you, right Eleven, dear?”

He gave a short nod, the only response he could muster without totally breaking down in front of everyone. Eleven left the room in a hurry, unable to look Erik in the eye any longer. His breathing was rapid and panicked as he strode down the hall toward his quarters, vision quickly becoming blurred from tears about to fall. He threw open the door and locked it behind him, collapsing on the bed.

Of-fucking-course the universe wouldn’t let him have this _one_ thing. The world could go to hell all over again, and the one thing he searched for, wanted more than anything, was once again snatched from him and held just out of reach. The goddess was constantly teasing and tormenting him like an older sibling.

After a few minutes he sat up and wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve, swinging his legs to sit on the edge of the bed. What had happened to Erik that would have erased his memories? Was he cursed, had he hit his head? He missed Serena dearly in that moment, she would have been able to look Erik over and determine what may have happened. Rab was a more than capable healer, but Serena would just _know_.

El punched his mattress, the self-loathing white hot in his chest, back with a vengeance. He blamed himself for not being there to stop whatever had taken him away. Maybe he could have stopped it. Or at least died trying.

_Past - Open sea near Gondolia_

As the ship pulled further out into the open sea, Eleven felt comfortable enough to go below deck without anything else popping out to attack them. He gestured for Erik to follow him and slung an arm over his shoulder to help him down the stairs. Once the door to the cabin was closed he looked at Erik, brimming with concern. 

“Can I check your wound?” He trusted Serena’s healing much more than his own, but he needed to see for himself how the injury had healed up. It was probably for the best that he hadn’t seen it before.

Erik didn’t protest, gingerly pulling his tunic over his head. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, El taking a seat beside him. Eleven leaned in close, inspecting the skin that had been all but completely healed, save for a scar and some light bruising. 

Erik’s face colored at the blatant closeness, feeling El’s breath on his bare chest gave him goosebumps, and the almost uncontrollable urge to grab the other boy by the shoulders and kiss him senseless. Before the tentacular had attacked their ship he was ready to lay it all out- his feelings, all of it. They’d danced around each other long enough, and Erik worried that if they waited too long, it would be too late. Today had been a pretty good motivator.

Satisfied with the healing, El sat back up and noticed Erik’s flushed face and unsteady breathing.

“Are you feeling alright?” He put the back of his hand to Erik’s forehead, shaking his head lightly. “You’re kinda warm. Are you fevering? You could have gotten an infection from the-” 

Before El could continue worrying Erik cut him off. “I’m not warm because of a fever, El,” he said quietly, focusing on the floor. 

Eleven knitted his brows together, confused. “Oh, okay. If you say so.” He moved to get up, but Erik reached out to grab his arm before he could. 

Erik pulled back hard enough that they both fell backwards onto the bed. El’s eyes were wide, and before he could ask what was going on, Erik pulled him flush against his own body, one arm around El’s waist, the other gently holding one side of his face. It was now or never.

“If this isn’t what you want, tell me now,” he whispered, his hair tickling El’s cheek. 

It took El a second to remember how to speak. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming. 

"Yes," he breathed. "I want this.”

“Good,” Erik mouthed, barely a whisper, before pulling him in the last few centimeters. 

El didn’t know if it was the near death experience that had finally snapped the mounting tension between the two of them, but he didn’t care. Whatever it was that had given Erik the confidence to finally jump El was grateful for. He lost himself in the multitude of indescribable emotions that were bubbling up and out of him, gripping at hair, clothes, skin, whatever he could get his hands on. 

At some point Erik ended up on top of him, and after a few moments he sat up to catch his breath, keeping El trapped under his straddled legs. 

He reached up and brushed a stray hair out of Erik’s face, catching his breath. Before he knew what was happening he was blubbering out an apology. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you faster. Next time they won’t take you without me,” El vowed, lacing his fingers with Erik’s. He pulled their joined hands down to his level to kiss the back of Erik’s.

“Hey, no apologizing. You know I’d do it again. But there won’t be a next time.” He leaned back down, pressing a firm kiss to El’s forehead. 

El wrapped his arms around him and held him there, with his head on El’s chest. Erik relaxed and curled his arms underneath, settling in. 

“I should have jumped you sooner. I could get used to this.” He mumbled into El’s shirt. 

He laughed softly, fingers threading their way through Erik’s tangled hair. 

“Yeah, I could get used to this too.”

_Present - Open sea near Zwaardsrust_

Eleven was startled back to reality with a swift knock at the door. It was Sylvando.

"Sweetheart, I know you're dealing with some things right now, but we have a bit of a problem."

He took a few deep breaths, put on his mask of what he hoped was composure and strode up the stairs to face whatever was plaguing them this time.

A giant, reptilian sea monster rose from the swirling waters below, looming over the ship.

“...Worms,” it snarled, slamming its giant arms down onto the deck. 

Erik fell from his bed below deck with a yelp. Whatever was going on up there, it wasn’t good. He knew he probably wouldn’t be of any help, but he ran above deck to investigate the commotion. He arrived just in time to get thrown to the ground from another blow to the ship’s deck. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of purple get flung over the edge of the ship in a blur. Everyone rushed to the railing, calling out for someone named ‘Eleven’. That’s right, that was his name, the boy that had looked at him like he’d seen a ghost.

Why did that name sound so familiar?

Between everyone searching for Eleven and trying to evade the monster Erik slipped back down to his room without detection. Hopefully they were able to lose whatever that thing was. It looked much too strong to try and fight.

_________________

Eleven watched as Rab fired his strongest attack at the monster, stomach dropping as it bounced off to no effect. They were screwed. Eleven unsheathed his sword and got into a battle-ready stance, but the monster had other plans.

It leaned forward and slammed its giant hands on deck, violently shaking the boat from side to side once more.

Eleven blinked, and he was flying through the air and off of the ship. Rab reached out to him with a shout, but it was no use. He hit the water with a hard slap, knocking him out cold. The tumultuous waters quickly swallowed him up, and he began to sink down.

_Past - Gallopolis_

"Erik, are you still awake?" El said quietly, hoping he was and also wasn't. He heard the sheets shuffle on the bed a few feet away. 

"Yeah, I'm awake. What's up?" Erik asked, knowing full well that El never slept well the first night they were in a new place. It overwhelmed him, and he had a hard time getting comfortable.

El's eyes began to adjust in the dark, and he could make out Erik's frame. He was laying on his side facing him, one arm propping up his head. The blanket was draped around his bare midsection - thank god it was too dark to make out any details or he would've been caught staring. He took a deep breath and answered the question. 

"I guess it's the new place, and all of this weird Luminary stuff. I can't stop thinking." He pulled himself up and started picking at the blanket near his feet. He disliked how emotionally dependent he’d been lately, but all of the travelling was starting to wear on El’s homebody nature. He was more than content to stay in the village he grew up in his entire life, and now he had been tossed out into a world that wanted him locked away. He was shocked out of his wallowing when Erik spoke up. 

"Come here." He scooted over and patted the space next to him in his own bed. El's eyes widened and he pulled his blanket up to his neck to hide his embarrassment. 

Erik laughed at his reaction. "Come on, I don't bite. Promise. We can talk over here." He patted the spot beside him again, and El slowly began to make his way over, pausing every few movements to make sure he had heard correctly. Once he finally sat down next to Erik, he sighed dramatically. 

"Finally. You'd think you're scared of me or something!" Erik said with a grin. El cracked a smile in return and relaxed the tension in his shoulders. "Now, tell me what's on your mind." 

El began listing through his worries, and Erik nodded along and provided encouraging words and input when he felt necessary. He slowly reached over and ran his hand across El’s back as a soothing gesture. El paused when he felt the touch, and Erik froze as well, immediately worried he’d overstepped a boundary.

"Is this okay?" He asked cautiously. El thought for half a moment and nodded yes. He relaxed even further, and before he knew it he was curled up in Erik's arms, fast asleep. 

Erik looked down at El's peaceful face and smiled to himself. If only Eleven knew. All of the stolen glances, the brief touches - they were adding up fast, and Erik decided he didn’t care if it was the right time. They were going to have to talk about this eventually, and he had a pretty good idea about how El felt as well. He rested his head back on the pillow while still keeping an arm wrapped around El and drifted off as well. 

El woke the next morning feeling warmer than usual. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, spotting Erik over by the nightstand writing something on a scrap of paper. When he was finished he looked up and noticed El was awake and promptly shoved the note into his pocket.

"Morning! I was just about to head down for breakfast, but now that you're awake we can go together."

"Is that what was on your note?" El asked curiously. Erik's hand flew to the back of his neck and he began scratching at his hair. Whatever he was about to say, it was a lie.

"Yeah, so there's no point in it now, huh?" he said a little too quickly. "Well, I'll let you get dressed and have the kitchen get our food started. Meet you down there?"

El smiled and nodded his reply, turning to pick his discarded jacket off of the chair he’d thrown it over. He would try to get the information out of Erik later.

_Present - Shores of Zwaardsrust_

Sylvando laid Eleven gently down on the sand and Rab stepped in, healing magic at his fingertips. 

Erik stood back, watching on with mounting fear. He’d just met this boy, but his reaction to Erik not knowing him was enough that he’d locked himself away in his room right after he’d been found. Something tugged at his heart watching him unresponsive on the sand.

“He’s important to me, I can _feel_ it. But how?” He wrung his hands together anxiously until nothing short of a miracle happened.

Eleven’s eyes fluttered open, and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

“Och, laddie. When ye flew overboard we thought ye done for. Thank the gods you’re alright.”

El sat up slowly, blinking the blur from his eyes. The last thing he remembered was being flung from the ship and then...he looked to his friends and let out a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry. You should have just left me.” 

“Oh, honey. That’s nonsense and you know it. We can’t save the world without you!” Sylvando put a reassuring hand on El’s back, guiding him to the small cabin on the shore. “Come now, we all need some rest after that unfriendly encounter.” 

El let himself be led into the cabin unrolling his bedroll automatically, going through the motions. So many nights of setting up camp all across Erdrea, he could do this with his eyes closed. Because of this he ended up right next to Erik. Old habits died hard.

Erik looked at him with wide, curious eyes. For whatever reason he found himself wanting to reach out to the boy across from him, but he kept his arms tucked under the blankets. Whoever this boy was - Eleven - he was definitely someone important. Maybe he’d figure it out along the way, or maybe he could ask Eleven to help him remember.

The last thought brought a flush to his face, more confusion to throw into the mix.

Erik woke in the middle of the night to the sound of rustling blankets and the door closing. He was a light sleeper, that at least hadn’t changed. He noticed Eleven was gone from his spot on the floor. He got up and followed him out, quickly spotting a figure standing along the shoreline, watching the waves roll in.

“Hey, are you alright?” Erik called out. El whirled around, hands up in a defensive position.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I heard you leave and just wanted to make sure everything was alright. It’s sure been a heck of a day.”

El tensed at the sound of Erik’s voice. He had to keep reminding himself that even though this person looked like his Erik, he wasn’t.

“Yeah, I just needed some air is all. I’m sorry to have worried you, you can go back to bed.” 

“Actually, would it be alright if I stayed here for a bit? I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you, and I had a few questions I wanted to ask you, if you didn’t mind.”

El sat down on the sand and patted the spot next to him. Erik sat down, fingers absently poking holes in the wet sand. It was a while before he mustered up the courage to speak. 

“I was important to you.”

It wasn’t so much a question as an observation. He looked over to El to see his reaction, and he was surprised to see El with his face in his hands. How long had he been sitting like that?

“Eleven?” Erik almost reached out until El snapped up to look at him, cheeks stained with fresh tears. His voice broke when he finally spoke.

“Erik. I - I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” 

He got up and walked back to the cabin without another word. 

Something stung in Erik’s chest. He sat alone for a little while longer, the sea once again being his most steadfast companion. 

He wanted to run, as friendly as these people seemed to be, El’s refusal to talk to him made him hurt even if he didn’t understand why. But these people knew him, and it was the best shot he had at figuring out who he used to be, what his purpose was. El might not want to talk to him now, but maybe that would change. He really hoped it would change.

When Erik finally returned to lay back down for sleep, he noticed El had moved his bedroll across the room, as far away from him as he could get. Another painful lurch in his heart, he laid down and faced the wall. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, adding to his ever-growing frustration. 

Having emotions without a clear reason was really starting to get on his nerves. Why did he care if Eleven didn’t want to talk to him? Maybe they were enemies before? Friends? Something in-between? Each new question brought more frustration, which quickly turned to anger. He wrapped the blanket tight around him before silent tears began to fall.

_________________

The next day they set out for the Warrior’s Rest Inn to check out a strange collective dream travelers had been experiencing. After booking a few rooms, they headed out to train and explore for a while to pass the time until nightfall.

The monsters had definitely gotten stronger after the fall, there was no questioning it. El quickly fell into step beside Erik without even thinking, but the movements were wrong. Erik didn’t even have the muscle memory of fighting with him. The link they once had, whether it was fighting, talking, or just sitting next to one another and anticipating the other’s next movement, had been severed. 

Erik’s movements were a step behind Eleven’s, unsure and tentative. His usual confidence was completely gone, replaced with unfamiliar meekness.

Eleven wiped his sword in the grass before sheathing it, turning to Hendrik. 

“Can we switch?”

Hendrik looked at him completely puzzled. Why didn’t Eleven want to stand with his former companion? As he remembered they had been together since the beginning, surely the memory loss couldn’t be enough to make Eleven turn him away? He nodded curtly and switched places, slotting in beside Erik while Eleven went to stand beside Rab.

After they had finished slaying monsters for the day, they began to make the trek back to the inn. El hung back a bit, looking around to admire the fields of grain. He wondered how beautiful Zwaardsrust was before it was attacked all those years ago, before his birth. He considered asking Hendrik until flashbacks to when he asked El about Dundrasil popped up in his mind. He decided against it and continued walking. 

Erik hung back as well, trying to find an opportunity to talk to Eleven, just the two of them. Whenever he tried, El always had an excuse, somewhere to be, someone to talk to, something to forge...Erik knew he was avoiding him, but he couldn’t forever. They were travelling together, after all.

He slowed enough that they were almost walking side by side. Erik turned to look at El, mustering up the courage to say something.

“Hey, that was a pretty cool spell you used earlier, with the giant beam of light that came down from the sky? I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

El looked at him with a curt nod, picking up his pace a bit. Erik did the same, he wasn’t getting away so easily this time. Asking a question would get something out of him.

“So, have you ever visited here before? Seems like a pretty quiet place...”

El sighed outwardly, shoulders slumping. His words were clipped and harsh. “We were here half a year ago, stopped on our way to Dundrasil.”

Erik’s head tilted to the side, Dundrasil sounded familiar. Erik was about to ask another question before El began to jog ahead to catch up with the others. Erik picked up his pace as well, breaking into a run to get ahead of him. He put a hand on El’s shoulder and wrenched him back.

“Hey, what is it with you? Everyone else seems nice enough to talk to me, and hell, at least _look_ at me, but you won’t even do that!”

El stopped dead in his tracks, breath knocked out from his chest like he’d been struck. He turned slowly to meet Erik’s eyes, a silent fury burning.

“Erik. Not now.”

Erik stood facing him, arms crossed, hip jutting out to the left, head tilted in annoyance. The familiar pose was like another swift punch to the gut. _It’s not him. It’s not. Him._

“You’re going to have to talk at some point, you know. Ignoring me isn’t going to help bring my memories back. Maybe I should just leave. Go back to Puerto Valor and sit in a boat all day, catching nothing and going to bed hungry. Sure beats hanging around _you_.”

With that last word El charged him. He unsheathed his sword in a quick swoop of his arm across his body, and Erik had his dagger out just as fast. 

Erik barely got out of the way, El’s sword catching his sash. He looked down at the torn garment with a frown. As he looked up, he saw a flash of steel before he was roughly shoved to the ground, the sword inches from his face and a boot on his chest.

“You...prick.” Erik said between gasps, scowl on his face.

El eased up and stepped back, turning to walk away.

“You don’t know me. And I don’t want to know you.”

_________________

As soon as the door shut to El’s inn room he collapsed into a heap on the floor next to his bed, sobbing into his sleeve. What had he done? Surely Erik was going to remember how he treated him if and when his memories returned, how was he ever going to explain what he did?

He was so wrapped up in his own head that he didn’t hear the door opening, and Rab stepping into the room. As soon as he saw Eleven next to the bed, he knelt down the best his old knees would allow him to, and rested a hand on his back.

“Och, What’s the matter, laddie? Are ye all right?

Eleven looked up at him with puffy, red eyes and swollen cheeks. He sniffled loudly before standing up and helping Rab do the same.

“Dry yer eyes and talk to yer ol’ grandad.” Rab sat at the edge of the bed and gestured to the spot next to him, quiet and patient.

Eleven moved over to sit next to him, palms pressed to his eyes for a moment until he was ready to speak.

“I hurt Erik today. I didn’t mean to, but I just got so mad and-”

Rab’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “That was you? I figured the poor boy got into a scrape with somethin’ he couldnae handle on his own. What happened?”

El grit his teeth against the fresh tears that fell. He was so caught up in his grief, his anger at what had been taken from him, that he’d taken it out on the completely wrong person. Rab waited until El caught his breath enough to speak.

“He started asking me questions about if we’d been here before, and it just _hurts_. Every time he looks at me, speaks to me...It’s too painful. He doesn’t remember _anything_.”

“Aye, yer partner in crime. Listen, yer bein’ too hard on the boy. He wants to talk to you most out of everybody. He’s drawn to you. I’d reckon there’s a reason for that.”

Eleven looked over to him, eyes wide.

“If ye talk to him about some of yer memories, share with him, maybe that would help him remember. I have a feeling it would ease yer mind as well. He may not be quite the Erik ye remember, but he’s still in there, and it’s clear as day he still cares for ye, memories or not.”

Eleven knew he was right by the way his heart completely shattered. He needed to make things right, and as soon as possible. It was getting late, but he had a feeling that Erik might still be awake.

_________________

Erik lay on his bed in the inn, arms folded behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He glanced briefly at the sound of the door opening. The guy with the dark hair and the flashy clothes - Sylvando.

“Oh wonderful, you’re in here. Mind if we have a bit of a chat, dear?” Sylvando pulled a chair over beside Erik’s bed and took a seat. 

Erik sat up and rested his arms on his knees, which were still a little sore from earlier.

“So I heard you got into a little spat.”

Erik snorted, that was a pretty generous way to put it. He’d been flat-out attacked by someone that was supposed to be his friend. “He charged me. I asked him a simple question, and he _charged me_. Should we really be travelling with that guy? He seems kinda unhinged.”

Sylvando had to hold back a laugh. He really had no idea.

“Sweetheart, he’s the Luminary. He’s the whole reason we’re on this journey.”

Erik looked back at him like he’d just used the most elaborate curse word in existence.

“The Luminary.” The word sounded so foreign yet so familiar on his tongue. Pain shot through his temples, his eyes squinting shut until it passed. “Can I step out for a minute? I think I could use some fresh air.”

Sylvando gave him a nod and a smile, moving his chair back to the corner of the room. “Of course, it’s out this door and right around the corner.” 

Erik grabbed his dagger just in case, and made his way out onto the balcony.

_________________

El opened the door to the outside balcony and saw Erik standing there, leaning against the railing. He always sought a quiet place to think when he was upset, at least it seemed that some things hadn’t changed. The small comfort sat like a warm beverage in his chest, and gave him the confidence to step forward.

“Hey, Erik?”

Erik turned to look, expression souring when he recognized who it was.

“I’m ready to talk now. I can answer some of your questions, if you’d like.”

Erik’s scowl slowly faded at the change in behavior. It was like someone threw a switch, El was completely different.

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”


	6. Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I, I loved you in secret / First sight, yeah we love without reason”_

El took a deep breath and looked out at the wheat fields, still gorgeous under the starlight. He looked over to Erik and his breath hitched just like it used to, another thing that was always gorgeous under the starlight. His eyes caught the moon like a reflector lens, his turquoise eyes shining like their own stars.

He may not be his Erik right now, but he would be with time. With time, care, and love. Something El decided he was ready to start giving. El rested his arms on the railing and began to speak.

“The last time we were here, we were following Rab to Dundrasil. Rab’s the man that healed you earlier.”

Erik nodded in recognition, he remembered the nice older man with the thick accent that patched him up from their scrape earlier. He turned to look back at El when he cleared his throat.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier. I’ve never _hurt_ you before, at least not on purpose, and if you knew I just...I’m having a hard time with some things, and it wasn’t fair for me to take it out on you. It’s not your fault, what’s happened to you. It took me way too long to realize I should be trying to help you instead of pushing you away.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and he jolted when Erik moved over to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it. Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

He didn’t get it, but he understood that there was still something Eleven wasn’t ready to talk about in detail yet. He’d eventually figure it out, or even better, remember, but for now patience was his best bet.

El took a deep breath, pausing for a long moment before continuing. “The last time we were here we explored the ruins of where I was born. It was kind of emotional, especially for Rab. He lived through the attack that destroyed the kingdom. My parents didn’t survive- Rab’s daughter and son-in-law.”

Erik looked at him with sympathy in his eyes, but also like he was grieving for something else, too. Something of his own.

“Anyway, I hate titles and it doesn’t really mean anything now, but I’m the lost prince of that kingdom. And the Luminary, but that’s a whole different issue we can talk about another time.”

The Luminary. That name again. Something clicked in Erik’s mind, but it was still too murky to understand. He belonged with the Luminary? He needed the Luminary?

Erik’s hand moved up to massage at his temple. His headaches had gotten more frequent and more painful since meeting up with his new traveling companions. He was sure it had to do with memories trying to fight their way back, but so far all he had were a few flashes and consistent pain.

Either way, he imagined fate had played a role in the fact that they were now standing side by side.

_Past - Sniflheim_

The air bit at Eleven’s cheeks and any other skin unfortunate enough to be exposed. He had quickly decided he didn’t love colder weather. How Erik was running around in just his tunic was beyond mortal reasoning.

They’d set up camp for the night just outside of the city gates, some sort of evil curse had taken hold of the city, freezing it solid. They planned to venture out into the Snaerfelt tomorrow to try and find the cause. The last orb was locked away in the castle, and they needed it to finally get up to Yggdrasil.

El rolled over to face Erik, he’d been so quiet all day. Little puffs of white came from his face buried under the blanket. 

“Erik. Are you still awake?” El peeled the blanket up a bit to find bright, glassy eyes staring back at his own. Erik was crying. El scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his head to El’s chest. “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

They’d been travelling together for a good nine months, and he’d never seen Erik cry. El rubbed circles and patterns into his back as the muffled sobs shook him, finally letting himself release the emotions that had been building up in him since they had arrived here.

Erik hated Sniflheim. There were too many memories here, ones he’d rather forget. As long as no one saw or recognized him, he figured he’d be able to get out of here without explaining too much. He felt guilty, El was his partner in multiple senses of the word. He should tell him, but the fear that he’d think anything differently of him seized in his chest.

After a few moments of silence, Erik wiped at his face and looked up to El.

“Sorry, I just...can you trust me on this one? This place...it doesn’t have good memories for me. I ask that you don’t question it, I’ll...I’ll tell you another time. Promise?” He buried his head in El’s chest as strong arms tightened around him, a soothing hand in his hair. He felt El kiss the top of his head.

“I trust you, and I’m sorry this place makes you feel that way. We’ll be out of here as soon as we can, I promise.”

Erik hugged him back in return, a silent thank you. They soon fell asleep like that, just huddled in each other’s arms, holding on for dear life as the storm raged outside around them.

_Present - Warrior’s Rest Inn_

Erik stood looking at El like he was trying to place something. Just talking to him like this, in a quiet setting where no one would bother them, did something to his heart. His pulse picked up, and when El smiled at him he felt heat rising to his cheeks. That was new. He cleared his throat, causing El to look over.

“Thank you, for sharing. I know it’s not easy for you, sharing personal things with a stranger.”

El spoke before he knew what he was saying.

“You’re not a stranger. Before all of this, you were...my best friend. You still are.”

Erik leaned towards him. He turned to hold his arms out, head tilted to the side with a soft smile.

El’s face flushed red. He was...offering a hug? How had he known? He took a step forward, looking at Erik again for confirmation. Erik nodded, urging him on.

El took the last step and wrapped his arms around him like he was going to evaporate. His chin rested on Erik’s shoulder, warm tears staining his tunic sleeve.

Erik patted his back, muttering words to ease his hiccuping sobs.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

It still wasn’t quite the reunion that El had imagined, but it was good enough. More than that, it was a start.

________________

That night Eleven laid in bed, staring at the ceiling while Rab snored across the room. He thought about how it had felt to talk with Erik once he had given him a chance. It had felt exactly like it did right after they met. Sure, he was skittish and had zero self confidence, but when they talked it was like Erik’s personality started to rise to the surface. He blushed as he wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. Was it possible to fall in love with the same person a second time?

Erik laid awake in bed as well, gazing out the window at the moon peeking through the clouds. Something about finally being able to spend time with Eleven made him feel more like himself than he had since he had woken up on that lonely beach months ago. He had a feeling that the more time he spent with him, the more he’d fall back into what he was, whoever he used to be. Something about being around Eleven just felt natural. His hand rested over his chest, his heart rate had picked up again. What was going on?

The next morning they set out for Dundrasil. The famous collective dream everyone had been seeing was a ghostly figure in Drasilian armor, Rab had pointed out. The poor soul begged to be released from his prison, from his eternal suffering.

The trip didn’t take long, and soon enough they were standing in the ruins before the entrance to the sewers. They had stopped at the king and queen’s headstone to pay respects and freshen the flowers, as they always did when they were in the area. Eleven and Rab had stood side by side, holding hands as they said a prayer.

The catacombs under the castle had an unsettling feeling. Eleven drifted closer to Erik and Sylvando, making sure everyone stuck together lest anything jump out to attack them. They entered a large, open area, quickly spotting a ghostly figure kneeled in the center. It was the same man from the dream, armor and everything. El took a few tentative steps closer, and as he did a vision suddenly took over his sight. 

They saw the night Dundrasil fell. The monsters, the death, the pain...all of it. They also saw Mordegon taking control of the King of Heliodor, which suddenly explained multitudes. They had seen him on Yggdrasil before he revealed his true identity, but they hadn’t known exactly how long the king had been indisposed. It was much longer than they could have imagined.

Suddenly they were back in the present. Eleven’s arm was still outstretched, cheeks tear-stained, wanting to help his dying father. 

Hendrik was kneeling, guilt flooding his mind at realizing he had been serving Mordegon all of those years. 

Rab had his head bowed, forced once again to witness what had transpired that terrible night. Losing his wife, daughter, son-in-law, grandson, and his kingdom all in a matter of hours. 

They all stood in shocked silence, words of consolation dead on their tongues. No one had any idea of what to say after seeing the horrors that befell Dundrasil all those years ago.

Before anyone could speak a giant, purple, lion-like monster appeared calling itself the Gloomnivore. It feasted on the pain and suffering of others, trapping them in perpetual despair at the mercy of the creature. It loomed over where Irwin’s body lay, a thick, purple mist wafting from him. It looked up as they approached, sniffing the air greedily. It locked eyes on Eleven.

“Your despair...it is quite exquisite.”

Eleven tensed. The monster didn’t even know the half of it. They charged into battle, El’s rage helping to make quick work of the Gloomnivore. It was strong, but they were able to overcome it by working together. Erik had sensed the distress radiating from Eleven, their invisible link snapping back into shape as if it were never broken. He fought alongside him with a matched ferocity, moving as one once again.

As the monster fell, a bright light shone from the ghost knight still kneeling in front of them. He stood, and Rab’s jaw went slack.

“Irwin...is it really you?”

His face became visible, and it was indeed Irwin, former King of Dundrasil, Eleven’s father. He strode over to Eleven and stood before him, nodding appreciatively with a proud smile on his face.

“My son. I’d know those eyes anywhere.”

Eleven nodded with tears in his eyes. Irwin looked up to the ceiling, where another bright light began to pour in, almost as if there were a giant hole to the outside. An angelic voice rang out, it was his mother, Queen Eleanor. She spoke of his burden, and gave but one bit of advice before they both faded away.

“Put courage in your heart, and lightning in your hand.”

It was the same thing he heard from the strange voice in his head while drowning. He looked down to his hand, and his mark was once again glowing bright.

“Laddie, your powers! They’re back!” Rab exclaimed.

Eleven gave him a smile, he could feel the electricity flowing through him like a current. His power was indeed back. 

Erik watched Eleven curiously. So this was the power of the Luminary. There was much more to Eleven than met the eye, and he had a feeling this was only scratching the surface.

________________

They retraced their steps back to the ruins of the town. El wasted no time in climbing up and into the top floor of one of the ruined buildings. He sat there picking at the moss, processing what had just happened. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of bright blue, and a moment later Erik was hauling himself up and through the old window.

“Hey, mind a little company?”

Eleven shook his head no, and Erik sat across from him back against the wall, one leg drawn up under him. El took a moment to admire him while he was looking the other way, and snapped his head down as soon as Erik turned to look back at him.

“So, how are you feeling? I’m sure that was a lot to take in. I don’t even understand everything we saw.” Erik said with a flick of his wrist, flinging moss off his fingertip.

“I’m holding up alright. I never really knew them, you know.”

Erik nodded, he understood. He barely remembered a single thing about himself, let alone his childhood. Erik’s head snapped back up when Eleven continued talking. He didn’t expect him to elaborate.

“The last time we were here, Rab and I performed this sort of ritual, for those that had passed away in the attack. It’s supposed to provide safe passage to the lost souls, so they can make their way to Yggdrasil and rest. It was beautiful, I’d never seen anything like it.” He took a moment to pause, not sure what details he wanted Erik to know just yet.

“You were really supportive that day, and I needed it. I didn’t even have to say anything. You were just...there. You always were.”

Erik looked back at him, curious. Even without his memory he could sense the El was holding something back. He decided not to dwell on it too much, he was just happy they were able to talk about things. From what the others had alluded to, back before the fall they had spent the most time together. That much was already very apparent. So if anyone knew him and could help him find himself again, it was Eleven. Erik didn’t intend on letting him get too far without him.

They sat in silence for a while, staring out at the ruins. Eleven tried not to imagine what it used to look like, he vowed the first time they were here that he’d rather save the creative visions for when they rebuilt it. Erik interrupted his thoughts with his tentative voice.

“I don’t fully understand what you’ve gone through, but I can tell you’ve lost a lot. And it might not mean much coming from me now, but...I’m sorry.”

Eleven looked back at him with a grateful smile. He was right, he didn’t understand, but that was good enough. Just having him here, knowing he was alive, was good enough. The fall had taken so much from this world, things he probably wasn’t even aware of yet. As cruel as the universe had been to them thus far, this was good enough. For now.

________________

They arrived in Octagonia the next day, lead by a rumor that there were many people trapped there by a terrible monster. A traveler that warned them of the monster talked of a beautiful fighter with long, black hair, and Rab was convinced it was Jade. That was more than enough reason to poke around and see what they could find.

Monsters. At first the party was on the offensive, but none of the monsters were interested in attacking. They’d encountered friendly monsters before the fall, but here it was suspicious.

After some light investigation work thanks to Sylvando’s Detective Service, the party discovered that the citizens of Octagonia had been turned into monsters by the jerk running the place, someone called ‘Booga’. With a name like that, El was expecting the absolute worst.

They made their way through the casino that was once a fighting ring, memories flashing through El’s mind from the last time they were here, forever in search of the Rainbough. He was lost enough in his thoughts that he almost didn’t hear the yelp from behind him.

Erik tripped over the last few carpeted stairs and lost his balance, beginning to fall backwards. El caught his wrist just in time, pulling him up and accidentally pushing him against the wall. El didn’t move or let go, too stunned by the closeness to do anything. They stared at each other, breathing rapid and eyes wide.

_Past - Octagonia_

The tournament was finally over, and the terrible scourge that had been lurking under the city and stealing fighter’s essence had been taken care of. The party had decided to let loose a bit. They’d finally tracked down the ever-elusive Rainbough, and Eleven had won the tournament with his partner, Vince.

Partner.

Erik scowled every time the word was used. He didn’t mean to be so possessive, it was just a part of him that flared whenever Vince’s eyes lingered too long, or a touch seemed just a bit too friendly… Okay, maybe he did mean to be possessive.

Erik shook his head, dismissing the thought. He had nothing to worry about. Even so, a drink or two certainly wouldn’t hurt.

He caught up with Eleven at the bar, both already a few drinks deep and desperately trying not to crawl into each other’s laps. Erik leaned over with his elbows on the counter, chin tilted up with a pout.

“Kiss me in front of this whole bar. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

Before Erik had even gotten the whole sentence out, El was already tracing his hand along Erik’s jawline, hand stopping at his chin to pull him closer still. He let out a little huff of a laugh before meeting halfway, smiling right before pressing his lips to Erik’s. He tasted like ale and the trace of a fruit he couldn’t quite place. El pulled back reluctantly, he wanted more than he probably should be giving in a public setting.

Erik opened his eyes and gave El a goofy, adoring smile. He was the definition of lovestruck. After a few moments Erik nodded toward the door, reaching for El’s hand as he slid off his barstool with as much grace as he could muster, which wasn’t any.

“Come with me, I wanna show you somethin’.” 

El blindly followed, as he would anywhere Erik asked him to go.

They ended up in a narrow staircase leading up to the fighting ring. It was deserted, the competition long over and everyone out on the town celebrating. El leaned against the railing, back mere inches from the wall. Erik took a step forward, circling El’s waist with his arms. He leaned forward enough that El’s back was pressed flat, Erik’s breath tickling his ear.

He didn’t say anything, not with his voice. His eyes told a much more passionate story, something wild and needful burning there.

Before El could ask, Erik closed the distance. It was clumsy, their foreheads bumping together. El bit down a bit too hard on Erik’s lip, only causing him to kiss back harder, more aggressive. A hand wove its way into El’s hair, pulling down hard enough for his head to fall back and thunk against the wall.

Neck bared, Erik dove in and yanked at the fabric of El’s shirt, moving the pesky neckline out of the way to give him access to what he wanted. He sucked at the sensitive skin where El’s neck met his shoulder, his hand snaking its way up the front of El’s shirt. El let out a low moan, hands fisting in the back of Erik’s tunic, hips pressing forward into his captor. 

Erik nibbled at the sensitive spot he’d made before running his tongue over it. He pulled back, giving the fresh mark one last kiss before stepping back with a satisfied smile.

“You’re _mine_. Now anyone else that tries anything will see that.”

El looked back at him panting, one arm still braced to the railing. He raised an eyebrow.

“Jealous?”

Erik’s eyes darkened, his head tilted to the side- a silent challenge.

“I’ll show you jealous.”

________________

Erik awoke the next morning, the lack of sunlight making him extra groggy. He reached down to run his fingers through El’s sleep-tousled hair, admiring how peaceful he looked while sleeping.

The further they traveled across Erdrea, the more they learned about whoever this “Lord of Shadows” was. Erik held El a little tighter, whatever or whoever it was, they’d take it down. He’d already taken a shot for Eleven, and as much as El would protest he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Eleven stirred, cracking a sleep-heavy eye open.

“...Morning.”

Erik kissed his forehead and rolled over to get up, scooping his tunic off of the floor from where he flung it the night before.

El sat up in bed, sheets pooling around his hips. He glanced over to the mirror hung on the wall, quickly noticing many more marks littering his neck and shoulders than just the one he’d received in the staircase the night before.

“You’re lucky my shirt covers this.”

Erik turned to look back at him with a smirk, pointing to his very open neckline with marks to match.

“Yeah, well, mine definitely doesn’t.”

_Present - Octagonia_

El jumped back when he realized how close he had leaned in. Erik’s face was flushed, his breathing labored. That was only from almost falling. At least, that’s what El convinced himself in his own head.

Erik looked back at him like he’d just been slapped across the face. He glanced from El’s wide, doe eyes down to his lips, then back up again. For a moment it almost looked like El wanted to kiss him…

He shook his head, dismissing the thought. There was no way. El mentioned several times that they were best friends and nothing else, even if his actions said something completely different. He followed El up the stairs, neither saying a word.

Rab had been correct in his hunch that Jade was here. She was, but not as they remembered her. She was under the control of the piece of sludge that called himself Booga, dressed as a bunny girl with red eyes and lips to match. 

El had far too much fun kicking the snot out of him after being forced to fight the woman he considered a sister. 

Jade did as well, coming to after Booga was defeated and the spell broken. She delivered the killing blow with a devastating kick, enough so that the entire party flinched a bit, Erik especially.

Hendrik quickly made his way over to where Jade stood, hand on her hip as she stretched her arms behind her back and rolled her shoulders.

“Princess, are you hurt?” 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though.” She eyed Hendrik curiously, weight shifting to her other leg as her hip stuck out to the side. “So, you’ve had a change of heart, have you?”

Hendrik dropped to his knee, head bowed.

“Princess, I must apologize. I did not realize what had become of your father, I-”

Jade held up her hand to silence him. “Now Hendrik, that’s no way to greet an old friend.”

Hendrik stammered out another apology and stood up as Jade took another step forward, poking him in the chest with her pointer finger. His face turned a fantastic shade of scarlet, words failing completely.

Jade laughed, giving him a wink before turning to address the others. She stood before Eleven with a wistful look in her eyes. He’d changed so much since she’d last seen him.

“You’ve grown much stronger since I last saw you, but I fear it was not by choice. I’m sorry I couldn’t-”

Before she could finish the apology El stepped forward to hug her tight. She returned the hug with just as much force, siblings ripped apart far too many times. When they separated El wiped at his eyes, looking to Jade with a relief. He managed to choke out a single sentence before his emotions took over.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

She gave him a sweet smile in return. “You too.” Jade turned to address Sylvando and Rab, and then finally, Erik. She went in to hug him, but was met with Erik flinching back like he was about to be hit. She took it in jest, not knowing what had happened to him.

“Ha ha, very funny, Erik. I promised you I wouldn’t kick you again unless you really deserved it-”

El looked to her with hands flailing, and she stopped mid sentence. El lightly placed a hand on Erik’s shoulder- to which he also flinched at, stinging El’s heart like a bitten cheek.

“Erik lost his memory in the fall. We’re working on getting it back. I’m sorry Jade, He just fought you, so I’m sure he’s just a little wary is all.”

Erik shook El’s hand off and squared his shoulders, eyebrows knitted and chin down.

“You bet I’m wary. She’s dangerous. Are you guys sure we want someone like that around?”

Jade quirked an eyebrow in annoyance, hands balled into fists at her sides. Amnesia or not, her patience was being tested. Surely losing his memory didn’t also make him completely ridiculous. 

El let out a defeated chuckle, his nerves completely frayed. He gave Erik a firm look. “Yes. She’s a part of our team, and our family. I can assure you that we, and especially me, want her around. And that’s final.”

Erik nodded back, message received. He settled on shaking Jade’s hand and taking his spot back next to Eleven.

________________

El tossed and turned that night in his sleep, the usual. If El didn’t desperately want Erik’s memories back before, he certainly did now. The more people they found, the more awkward the party dynamic got. There was something glaringly missing, and the fact that they had to goad Erik into sitting with them at the campfire just put the cherry on top of the horseshit cake that was this whole situation. He thumped his head back onto his pillow in frustration and stared up at the stars until he fell asleep.

The next morning El was awake much earlier than usual. He took the opportunity to scope out the area to try and find something for them to eat. He was sort of successful, finding just enough for a bland stew. It looked like all of Erdrea had been suffering from food shortages after the fall. Every place they’d been to so far had been no different, barren and lacking in living things that weren’t monsters.

By the time the food was almost ready, everyone else had joined him, sitting around the fire patiently waiting with idle chatter. Eleven moved to remove the lid, yelping as hot iron touched his bare skin. He dropped the pot lid with a thump, startling everyone into action. El sat on the ground holding his wrist, face scrunched in pain. Jade made it to him first, mumbling words of comfort. She called over her shoulder to anyone that was listening.

“He’s burned his hand, does anyone have a bandage, or an herb?”

Erik sat his pack on the ground, quickly digging through his belongings looking for anything that could help. His hand brushed the bottom of the bag where a crumpled piece of paper sat, untouched for almost a year. He picked it out and unfolded it slowly, his original mission completely forgotten and replaced with curiosity. It was his handwriting, and his name scrawled at the bottom. There was no mistaking it.

_El,_

_Good morning! I hope you slept well. Last night was really nice, I hope it wasn’t weird for you or anything. I’m sorry if it was. Geez, I have no idea what the point of this is but...I wanted to tell you that I like you. A lot. I was going to wait to say something since it hardly seems important with everything that’s been going on but...I wanted you to know. I’ll be downstairs eating breakfast if you wanna find me._

_Yours, _

_Erik_

Erik sat on the ground, rereading the note over and over again. He...and Eleven? And ear-splitting headache tore its way through Erik’s forehead, causing him to lean forward and pull at his hair. The more his mind reached for any confirmation, the more the pain seeped in, blinding his vision to the point where all he saw was white light.

Eleven was soon at his side, a hand on his shoulder.

“Erik...Erik can you hear me? What’s wrong?”

He focused on Eleven’s voice, his vision slowly returning. After a few moments his breathing returned to normal, and he looked up to Eleven with tears in his eyes.

“I...I understand now. Oh gods, Eleven I am _so sorry_.”


	7. Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I, I loved you in spite of / deep fears that the world would divide us”_

_“I...I understand now. Oh gods, Eleven I am so sorry.”_

El looked at him with a mixture of hurt and confusion. Had he...finally remembered? That would have been too good to be true.

Erik handed him the crumpled note without another word as he sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

El scanned the first few lines and his eyes widened. He remembered this note. The one Erik had crumbled in a hurry the morning they’d spent snuggled up after their first night in Gallopolis. Erik said at the time that the note didn’t matter, he'd hidden it away, but now it mattered more than he could have ever anticipated. Eleven held it with shaking hands, reading it over as his own tears began to fall.

Erik was going to tell him back in Gallopolis. Eleven had wanted to do the same, and had held back for the same reason. There had been many moments the confession had been on the tip of his tongue, but Erik’s sacrifice in Gondolia had brought it all to a head. They never knew how much time they would have with the uncertainty of their journey, but that night they finally decided they wanted to enjoy every moment they could. 

He never knew he’d thank himself so much for that now.

They sat quietly for a while, shoulders touching and hands clasped. El looked down at his white knuckles and relaxed a bit, but noticed Erik was holding on just as tight. It was almost as if they loosened their grip they would slip through each others’ fingers again.

The others sat back and watched quietly, doing their best to pretend they weren’t desperately trying to listen in. They suspected Erik had remembered something from both of their reactions, but how much, and what? It seemed sort of private, so they decided to make themselves busy out of respect. An explanation would come when they were ready to give one.

Erik looked up and met El’s eyes, still a little red and puffy. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

El sniffled, wiping his nose quickly before answering.

“I- I figured it wouldn’t be fair to you, you know? I didn’t want to shove expectations on you or anything.”

“Yeah, but suffering in silence wasn’t very fair to you. Or me, really.” He gave El a soft smile to show there were no hard feelings. What was done was done, from here they could finally begin to heal. Together.

_______________

They had just made it through the strait and back out to open sea as everyone began to head below deck for some well-needed rest. There were rumors of a terrible monster patrolling the waters, and if it was the same beast they’d encountered on their way to Zwaardsrust they’d need every ounce of energy they could get.

El stood gazing out to sea, forearms resting on the ship’s wooden railing. He was lost in his thoughts as he often was once the sun set, worries about what they still had yet to do swirling around in his mind. 

Erik appeared beside him without a sound. El did a double-take to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Before he could say hello, Erik spoke up.

“Everything makes sense now.”

Eleven turned to look at him, he was staring out to sea as well, arms folded on the railing in front of him.

“How so?” El’s voice was quiet, timid. Like the wrong answer would open yet another gaping hole in his heart.

“The way you reacted to finding me. I thought it was because I was another burden, something else to worry about...but it was so much more than that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt.”

Eleven reached over and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. For the first time since they’d found him, he didn’t flinch away.

“Please don’t apologize. Whatever happened to you, it wasn’t your fault. You’re not a burden, memories or none. I’m sorry if the way I acted made you feel that way.” El removed his hand, but before he could take it back Erik reached for it, fingers lacing together in comfort.

“Thank you. For saying that. It’s all I’ve felt like since you found me.” Erik relaxed a little. By nothing short of what he imagined was fate alone, he ended up with people who knew him, who cared about him, and dare he even think may have loved him. He counted his blessings and thanked the Goddess for leading him back to them, back to Eleven.

“You know, I’ve been having these weird feelings since then. Certain things, even certain words- they make my heart beat like I’m being chased down or something.”

Hope bloomed in El’s chest for the first time since he could remember. The memories may be shrouded for now, but that proved that they weren’t lost for good. The feelings were still there, they were just a little buried.

“Could you tell me about…” Erik looked away, a blush apparent in the rolling light of the moon reflecting off the ocean. “...about what it was like?”

_Past - The First Forest_

Eleven tossed and turned again, desperately trying to get comfortable. The agenda for tomorrow was already weighing on his worried mind, keeping him from falling asleep. Right before he decided to get up, Erik rolled over and sighed in relief when he saw Eleven was also awake. Same wavelength, as always. He scooted closer so they could talk in whispers, foreheads almost touching.

"You can't sleep either, huh?" 

Eleven shook his head solemnly. 

Erik continued. "I've actually got something on my mind, can we?" 

Eleven nodded, sitting up to untie the tent flaps. They made their way outside and set their bed rolls down near the dead fire. They laid back down, getting comfortable while admiring how bright and close the stars seemed to be from here. Erik cuddled into El’s side, a familiar spot. His favorite spot. 

"What's on your mind?" Eleven asked, lazily running his fingers through Erik's hair. When Erik turned to look at him, his eyes glittered with unshed tears. His free hand found Eleven’s, holding it tight like a lifeline.

"I have no idea how tomorrow is going to go, and I fully believe in you, but…" he trailed off and looked away briefly. "If anything happens tomorrow, I want you to know that I love you." He swallowed hard, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. 

Eleven leaned down and kissed him, saying the same without words as he always did. He wiped away his own tears once they broke apart. Seeing Erik so openly worried was troubling.

"I love you too. It’ll be okay.” He held on a little tighter. He was as nervous as Erik was, but he didn’t want him to know that.

Erik clung to his side, squeezing the air out of his ribcage. 

"We've all got your back. Once all of this is over and dealt with we can retire to that cottage you've been dreaming about." 

Eleven smiled through the hot, anxious tears that kept falling. He buried his face in Erik’s hair and breathed in, the familiar scent bringing some comfort.

"That sounds perfect."

_Present - Open sea near the Strand_

Eleven didn’t even know where to begin. He opened and closed his mouth, a hundred little moments coming to mind. 

Erik cut in, the silence weighing on him. “You don’t have to if it’s too much, I understand, but I...I think I have an idea. I just wanted to hear it from your side.”

Eleven cleared his throat and gave Erik’s hand a light squeeze before pulling his own back to brush a hair behind his ear.

“I knew from the moment we jumped. I know that won’t mean anything to you now, but when we figure out what’s happened to you and get your memory back, you’ll understand. We were on the run, escaping from Heliodor, and we leapt off of this giant cliff. There was no way we should have survived, but we did. I knew that there was something special about you, and I decided right before we jumped that if we made it, I wasn’t letting you go anywhere.”

“That reminds me,” Erik said, looking up to meet his eyes. “I had a dream the other night, it was so weird. It was you and me, and we were lying in a field somewhere. We were watching the clouds and pointing out shapes and stuff. Right before it ended I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”

Eleven’s heart stopped. That wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. 

“Hey, you alright? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost or something…” He moved to bump El’s shoulder with his own. El held his hand up before Erik could say anything more.

“Erik, this is really important. I’m gonna need you to tell me the absolute truth, okay?”

He nodded, he understood. El looked really serious. He wanted to reach out and hug him once he began to visibly shake.

“In that dream, did you...call yourself anything silly?” He didn’t want to spell it out, that would ruin it. Erik had to know on his own to make it true.

Erik’s lips pursed in thought. “How do you mean?”

Eleven began speaking, and by the time he’d gotten half the sentence out, Erik was finishing it.

“I grow on people-”

“-Like a fungus.”

Eleven didn’t know if he was laughing, crying, or a combination of the two. Erik reached for him, wrapping an arm around his back. “Hey, are you alright? What’s up?”

El took a few deep breaths before he reached hysterics, slowly calming back down enough to speak. He looked up at Erik with an exhausted relief in his eyes. 

“Erik, that wasn’t a dream. That really happened. That was a _memory_.”

Erik leaned back, eyes wide. “Really? That explains why it felt so real. It was crazy.”

“Have you had any more of these dreams?” Eleven’s heart had broken over and over again the past few months, but this was a sliver of hope, something for him to cling onto.

Erik shook his head. “No, this was the only one. To be honest, they’re normally not pleasant. My dreams, that is.”

Eleven reached over and took both of Erik’s hands in his, pleading. “If you have any more, will you please tell me?”

Erik gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hands back before letting go.

“You bet.” 

Erik hoped he did have more soon. That dream, no...that memory was the most pleasant thing he’d experienced since waking up on the beach lost and confused. Something about Eleven was a constant comfort, and he was finally beginning to understand why. If they’d been in love before, he saw no reason why it couldn’t happen again. He had a feeling it already had.

__________________

After they arrived in Sniflheim, Erik looked like he wanted to throw himself into the sea. Eleven remembered how difficult it was for him the first time they were here, and it looked like some of those feelings still lingered, even in Erik’s current state. He drifted close to Eleven, reaching out for his hand.

“I have a really bad feeling about this place.”

Eleven took his hand without question, leading them into the city. They stood by the fountain, not a soul around. It was eerily like the last time they were here, but at least everything wasn’t under several inches of ice. 

“Where is everyone? It’s always something with this place, isn’t it?” Jade said, crossing her arms.

“Aye, yer not wrong there, lassie. We should go check in on the queen, make sure everything is alright.” Rab nodded to El, and he followed up the steps to the castle with Erik in tow. The others stayed back to investigate the city further.

Erik was quiet. He had been since they set foot inside the city gates. His face scrunched up a bit like he was trying to think of something, but he hadn’t spoken a single word. He just kept hold of Eleven’s hand, head down.

After speaking with Queen Frysabel they learned a horrible curse called gold fever was ravaging the town. Citizens would turn to gold seemingly at random, then golden fiends would barge into town and take them away on a ship. 

Erik’s grip on El’s hand tightened at the word gold, and he shook his head like he was trying to forget something. He looked up when Eleven bumped his shoulder, the queen was speaking to him.

“You...you look familiar to me. I am not sure of how or why, but I know I’ve seen you before.”

Erik’s left hand shot up to grab at the side of his head, and he looked to El with panic in his eyes. 

“I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry.”

Erik ran out of the throne room, out of the castle and back out into town. He crouched down by the stairs to the town square, holding his head in pain. He wrenched his eyes shut as flashes of horrible scenes appeared in his mind. A young girl with blue hair, she had suffered a great deal.

_My fault._

The scenes opened a gaping wound of guilt in Erik’s heart as fresh tears hit the stones at his feet.

Eleven was soon at his side, along with the rest of the party. They stood on in worry as Eleven knelt down next to Erik, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. I’m here. What’s happening?”

Erik looked up with fear, there was that caged animal look that struck El’s heart like an arrow through the back.

“I...I did that to her. El I’m sorry, but I have to go. I have to be alone.”

He stood, making a run for the city gates. Eleven wanted to chase after him, but something told him this had something to do with the last time they were here. There was something painful here in Sniflheim, something Erik didn’t want to remember. Something he didn’t want El to know. He let Erik go, much like he let it go when Erik didn’t want to talk about whatever it was this place reminded him of. If he needed to be alone to process whatever he’d seen, he deserved at least that.

After an hour or so Eleven found Erik standing up on an embankment outside of the city, looking out to sea. The one thing that had remained a constant through all of this was the sea. Watching the waves lull brought a calming peace to Erik’s mind that he so desperately needed. This place brought a sort of incessant mental buzzing, a constant painful tug that told him to run. He turned on his heel at El’s approach, relaxing when he recognized the familiar face.

“Hey. Sorry about running off earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it. The last time we were here I don’t think you even stepped foot into the city. You never told me what it was about this place that upset you, but that’s alright. I didn’t need to know the specifics, just that you needed…”

Eleven trailed off, kicking his boot into the snow. He didn’t want to say it out loud for fear of the reply. Or the lack of one. 

But Erik pressed. He had a hunch, but he needed to know. He took a step toward El, reaching out to take his hand. His voice was barely above a whisper.

“What did I need, El? Because you know, I might need it now, too.”

El’s eyes brimmed with tears. He took a choked breath and looked up, Erik’s eyes were locked on his, waiting for an answer. El took another shaky breath, his voice wavering.

“...some unconditional love.”

Erik’s breath caught in his throat. Before he could reply, a panicked scream pierced the air. They turned, startled. A large ship had docked at the port, and as soon as Erik saw it he dropped to the ground, clutching his head. El bent down to run his hand through Erik’s hair to help soothe the pain. 

Something about that particular ship triggered the ghost of a memory. Erik saw a flash of himself on it, and that was all.

Eleven needed to get back into town to see what was wrong, but Erik was in no state. He gently scooped him up in his arms and headed around to the docks as quickly as he could, careful not to jostle Erik too much as he continued to hold his head.

Erik curled into El’s chest, headache slowly ebbing away. Once they reached the gates Eleven set him back down, double-checking everything was alright before charging ahead.

Erik followed El through the gates and into the square, where gilded knights had taken the most recent victims of the golden fever. Eleven quickly met up with the rest of the party, and they launched an offensive. 

Erik’s piercing headache returned at the sight of the golden monsters, slumping down onto his knees. The monsters noticed him immediately, easily grabbing him and hauling him away, onto their ship. Ropes were tied tightly around his wrists as he was thrown into a small wooden dinghy. He tried to cry out for El, but wasn’t heard over the sounds of sword fighting until it was too late.

“El!”

_Past - Gondolia_

Eleven sat on a stack of crates facing Sylvando. Those bastards, they’d walked right into Jasper’s clutches and didn’t realize until it was too late. It looked like they were in the clear, they had an out. But Jasper had the upper hand again, sending a scalding ball of dark magic their way. Eleven turned around in horror as he watched the magic collide with Erik’s chest with enough force to push him backwards before he hit the ground.

El slipped out of Serena’s grasp to run to him, they could still save him...but Erik had swatted them away, saying this was their chance to get out. Serena was practically dragging his dead weight away from the scene, tears already flowing as he watched the guards surround Erik and haul him away.

“Honey, we’ll get him back. I promise.” Sylvando gave El a knowing look. He knew the stakes were higher simply because it was Erik. Not that El didn’t love all of his friends equally, but it didn’t take a genius to see that what those two shared was special.

El gave a determined nod before standing back up, wiping at his eyes.

“Let’s go.”

He sliced through the guards with deadly accuracy. The rest of the party stood back and watched as he tore through guard after guard. They’d never seen him use such ruthlessness before, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

He’d seen too many people suffer simply because he was the Luminary. He’d be damned if he let Jasper get away with this one.

They snuck from rooftop to bridge, then even down into the gondolas to get back around to where Erik was being held. El peeked from around the pillar and spotted him, tied up against a pillar across the stage. His head sagged forward, he wasn’t conscious. This lit an all new rage inside of his stomach.

Between Veronica’s spells, Sylvando’s quick footwork, Serena’s forever helpful healing, and Eleven’s brute force, they had Jasper pinned in no time. He fell to his knees at Eleven’s last sword swing, cursing them with a gasping breath.

Eleven wasted no time in rushing to Erik’s side. He easily sliced the ropes and caught his still-limp form in his arms as he fell forward. All pretense was out the window. He didn’t care about his destiny, their mission- any of it. All he cared about in that singular moment was seeing those turquoise eyes again. 

He stirred, slowly cracking an eye open and took a stuttering breath. He coughed, luckily no blood but it sounded painful. El looked down at him, bottom lip quivering as he fought back tears of relief. 

“You’re hurt.”

Erik somehow still managed his signature smirk. He was definitely in some trouble health-wise, but he was safe now. He didn’t want El to worry any more than he clearly saw he already was.

“Heh, I’ve had worse,” he croaked out.

El held back the urge to roll his eyes. At least he wasn’t too far gone to not act like himself. He hugged Erik closer to his chest until Serena arrived, delivering the magic that began to stitch Erik back together from the inside out. 

It felt like taking in a deep breath in frigid weather. It was soothing, but also stung a little. Probably burning off the last of the dark magic that still lingered in his chest.

Erik glanced over to where Jasper stood, leaning against a pillar for support while what was left of his men scrambled to his side. He smiled, it looked like El really did a number on them. As much as he wanted them to run away and forget him, his heart swelled at the thought that they came to his rescue as soon as they could. As much as Erik didn’t want to admit it, they were sort of like a family. 

He looked up to El and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, thanks for coming back for me. You didn’t have to, but it...it means a lot.”

El bit back a shocked laugh, looking down at Erik like he’d told a joke. “I don’t care whose ass I have to kick, I’ll always come back for you.”

Erik's face colored a little, but he’d blame it on the healing magic. He was hit with a sudden surge of confidence, grabbing at El’s collar to get his attention.

“El, I-”

Before he could say anything more, Sylvando’s ship pulled around to pick them up as he stood on the bowsprit, dramatic as always. Eleven didn’t let him up, instead opting to hoist him up in his arms as he jogged over to the ledge. 

They jumped to freedom hand in hand as they had before. As they would continue to do as long as Erik had anything to say about it.

_Present - Sniflheim_

Eleven whipped around just as the monsters had tossed Erik into the small boat headed for their ship. He snarled and tore after them, but by the time he reached the end of the dock it was too late. The rest of the party was soon at his side, vowing they’d find out where he’d been taken and get him back as soon as possible.

Eleven clenched his fists at his sides, sword hand twitching. They were going to get him back, alright. And those monsters were going to wish they’d never fucked with the Luminary.


	8. Golden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“My, my love had been frozen / Deep blue but you painted me golden”_

Erik sat in a dirty cell, back against the grimy stone walls. He’d been taken by the golden monsters plaguing Sniflheim, saying something about their boss wanting to see him. Why him? He wasn’t anyone special. Without his weapons and equipment he was a sitting duck. 

He let his head thump against the wall and wrapped his arms around himself. Hopefully his friends were on their way. Hopefully they cared enough to come and find him. As close as they’d gotten over the past few weeks, El especially, he held that hope in his heart that they’d be here soon.

He let his tired eyes fall shut. It was finally quiet enough in the cave that he might be able to get some much needed rest. 

_Past - Lonalulu_

Erik stirred, his eyes slowly opened as they adjusted to the bright sun streaming through the bamboo blinds. He buried his head further into El’s chest, which slowly rose and fell with the leveled breaths of sleep. Erik swore it took nothing short of an earthquake to wake Eleven up, and just as he thought it, something boomed so loudly outside that the shutters shook. 

Oh, right. The canon lady.

Eleven hadn’t moved an inch, still sleeping peacefully. Erik took the opportunity and traced his finger lightly along El’s cheekbone and across his lips, appreciating how truly beautiful he looked when the worry lines weren’t there. The burden of the Luminary was indeed a heavy one, as many had reminded them over the course of their journey. 

Erik wished he could take some of that burden, if only for a little so Eleven could relax. He knew El would argue he already did just by being there beside him, but he wished he could do more to ease the stress. The fate of the world shouldn’t have to rest on one person.

A soft blue eye slowly opened, and El’s mouth curled into a delicate, warm smile. 

“G’morning. How long have you been up?”

Erik let himself be pulled back into El’s arms. He rested his head just under El’s chin, getting comfortable.

“Not long, promise.” He honestly had no idea how long he’d been awake. Moments like these felt like an eternity, and that was more than alright with Erik. They greedily took all the time they could get.

El rolled onto his back and pulled Erik on top of him. He began to gently card his hand through Erik’s sleep-tangled hair. His eyebrows furrowed as his fingers worked their way through the knots.

Erik didn’t dare speak above a whisper, for fear of the moment shattering like waking up from a dream that was too good to be true. 

“What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

El let out a small breath before he answered, like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Thinking about the future. What I want it to be like.”

“Care to share?” Erik folded his hands on El’s chest and rested his chin there. He batted his eyes innocently, head tilted to the side in curiosity.

El began to lightly scratch down Erik’s back as he spoke. “I want something small, cozy. Preferably in the country somewhere.”

“So no castle, then?”

El shook his head. “Not my style. You know that.”

Erik wrapped his arms around El’s neck and rested his head, cheek pressed to El’s chest. He heard the ever-steady beat of his heart and how it quickened as El took in his next breath.

“There’s one thing that I need there though, no matter where I settle down.”

Erik grinned, a knowing gleam in his eye. “And what’s that?”

El pulled him up so they were eye to eye before he tilted his chin down to kiss him.

“You.”

_Present - Viking Hideout_

Erik woke with a start as the gilded monsters returned. A few stopped to sneer at him through the bars. “Aw, the prisoner’s upset. Have a bad dream? Your reality’s about to be much worse. Boss has been after you for a long time.”

Erik slumped over onto his side as tears flowed freely down his face and onto the dirt floor. 

“El...please hurry.”

___________________

The party learned where the monsters had most likely taken Erik thanks to the local priest. They wasted no time and jumped on the Stallion to make the quick trip over to the old Viking hideout.

The priest had mentioned Erik’s past with the Vikings, and about how him and his little sister were brought up. It sounded like a tough childhood. They were worked to the brink of exhaustion, treated as grunts instead of children. The priest also mentioned Erik’s sister passing away a handful of years ago. 

Sorrow and dread settled in El’s chest at the news. Erik had a sister, and she’d died? That had to be why he hated this place. El felt guilty not knowing such a tragic detail of his love’s past, but if Erik didn’t want to talk about it he’d never press. Hopefully one day he’d trust El enough to open up about it, to finally share his grief so he’d be able to heal.

They arrived at the hideout and immediately began to tear through the monsters that guarded the entrance. The battle was short thanks to El’s blind rage and the rest of the party at his back. With their dying breaths the monsters called out to someone called Gyldygga, warning them that the Luminary had arrived. 

El rushed to the cell where Erik was imprisoned, visually checking him over for any signs of injury. He didn’t look hurt, at least not physically. Erik stood and gripped the bars, a sad smile on his face. El wrapped his hands over Erik’s, forehead bumping against the metal. Erik’s words came out as a whisper.

“You came.”

Once they found the cell key Eleven unceremoniously flung the door open and pulled Erik in for a hug, squeezing as tight as he could without hurting him.

“Of course I did. I came as soon as we found out where you were.” When he let go and stepped back, Erik kept his hands on El’s shoulders. His eyes stayed shyly to the ground.

“I...I had another memory dream while I was here.”

El’s heart skipped a beat. As much as he wanted Erik to tell him about it right that second, they had more important things to handle. They were on borrowed time. Now that Gyldygga knew they were here, it was only a matter of time before more soldiers showed up.

Erik stepped back and looked around, a deep frown on his face. Realization of where he was slowly dawned on him, painful memories from his past creeping in. His head bowed as he began to shuffle toward a back entrance to the cave. 

“If this is...then she must be…”

They followed Erik out into the snow, El just a few steps behind him. Across the clearing was another cave, this one sealed off with a shabby wooden door. Before they could get to it, Erik collapsed on his hands and knees, groaning in pain. El kneeled beside him in the snow, a hand on his back.

“My head...I can’t…” Erik gritted his teeth against the pain as it tightened in his head like a coil. 

El turned to the rest of the party, panic in his eyes.“What do I do?!”

“Let’s get him inside. Hopefully his headache goes away after a few minutes like the others,” Jade said, pointing over to the cave with the makeshift door.

El hoisted Erik up in his arms as gently as he could and hurried across the clearing, shoving the door open with his shoulder. Something glowed at the corner of his vision. A Yggdrasil root. It was pulsing, signalling that She had something to show.

Erik’s hand gripped El’s coat as he stepped up to touch it, the pain now almost unbearable. El walked over and quickly reached out as the glow overtook them. When he opened his eyes, they had been transported into a memory. They recognized a younger Erik as he hauled crates for the Vikings, and met Mia, Erik’s little sister. 

They watched as the memories changed, one day a tired argument between siblings, the next Mia’s birthday. They watched her unfortunate demise from the necklace Erik had given her, not knowing it was cursed. She ended up encased in gold, forcing Erik to leave and travel the world in search for a cure. 

When they came to, Erik was still clinging to El’s jacket, tears of physical pain now just tears of sadness. El gently set him down, and he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. Jade stepped forward, a sympathetic look on her face.

“Erik, we had no idea you have a sister. I’m so sorry about what happened.”

Erik looked up at her, a spark of recognition in his eyes. “Thanks, I never really wanted to talk about it. Everything that’s happened to her is my fault. The Seer told me that if I followed the Luminary I’d find forgiveness, and I still believe that,” he said, turning to level his gaze on Eleven with a smile.

El’s breath caught in his chest. He remembered the Seer’s prophecy. He took a step toward Erik, tentative and unsure. He’d remembered that, but did he remember everything else? Erik closed the remaining distance with a few strides, wrapping El in his arms.

“My dream earlier was from Lonalulu, when we woke up in the inn and stayed in bed until everyone came knocking, worried we were sick. Remember when Veronica threatened to barge in and drag us out on her own?” They both laughed at the memory, El’s laughter caught between sobs of joy. The tone of his voice, the way he held onto El...like they fit together, two long-lost puzzle pieces. There was no mistaking it.

“You’re back,” El whispered, words muffled in the material of Erik’s tunic. Normally he’d be a bit more shy about public displays of affection in front of their friends, but this time he didn’t care. He’d waited too long for this. Erik pulled back enough to reach up and stroke a gloved hand along his cheek, wiping tears as he went.

“Sure am. El, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through the past few weeks. I can’t imagine...I don’t blame you for any of it, I-"

El grabbed Erik by the back of the neck and crushed their lips together, cutting him off. Erik gripped a handful of El’s hair and jacket, worried that if he let go he’d slip away again. 

“Should we scout ahead or something? I feel like they could use a moment alone.” Jade said, tugging on an enthralled Sylvando’s sleeve.

“Oh, it’s just so romantic, they’ve been reunited at last!” He cooed, hands folded over his chest. Jade tugged a bit harder, and he reluctantly followed her lead. 

They broke apart gasping and Erik hugged him tight enough that El squeaked. The memories from when he was found on the Stallion up until now clicked in his mind, and he felt terrible. They may not have had their tearful, heartfelt reunion then, but they were sure as hell going to have it now.

El gave him one last kiss on the cheek before taking a step back. He kept hold of Erik’s hands, refusing to break contact completely. “Please don’t ever do that to me again,” he threatened with an uneasy smile. Erik shook his head in response, squeezing El’s hands in reassurance.

“Trust me, it wasn’t by choice. When Yggdrasil fell, the last thing I saw was Mordegon ripping the light from your chest. He tossed you aside and you looked dead, El. The feeling from seeing that was…” He shook his head, trying to banish the memory from resurfacing. “I never want to feel that again. Then everything went black, and I woke up on the coast of Puerto Valor. I barely knew my own name.”

El pulled Erik back into a hug, running his hand back and forth across his back. He never thought about it from Erik’s point of view. As horrible as it sounded, maybe it was for the best he’d lost his memories for a while. He knew what it felt like going several months worrying if his loved one was dead, and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. When they finally released one another, they looked around and noticed their friends were gone.

“I guess we grossed them out,” Erik said with a chuckle, scratching at the back of his neck. He walked over to the middle of the room, where a patch of gold still remained on the ground.

“You saw my memories, you know what happened to Mia. Her statue was right here.”

They looked around the empty cave. There was no statue.

“This is where I left her…” he trailed off, looking down at his feet. Where could she have-

The realization hit him and he clenched his fists at his side.

“Gyldygga and those golden goons must have taken her. We have to find them and get her back.”

Luckily they didn’t have to look too far. They met up with the others outside the back of the cave. A giant golden castle loomed across the clearing at the top of the hill. Erik looked up at it with confusion.

“This definitely wasn’t here before.”

It was a golden maze inside. El’s frustrations showed in the ferocity of his sword swings. They’d been up and down several staircases and turned around every which way between locked doors and cage bars. He was getting tired of the glare of the light off of all the gold, it was starting to give him a headache.

One final staircase lead them to a grand throne room. Erik stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who sat upon the throne.

“Mia?”

She sneered down at them, Erik especially. “Call me that again and you won’t be breathing for much longer. I go by Gyldygga now.”

Erik clenched his jaw at the realization that Mia was behind everything plaguing Sniflheim. “So it was you. The gold fever, Sniflheim, the Chief and his men? What’s happened to you?”

Her eyes narrowed, mouth twisted into a wicked grin. “What, shocked to see your poor little sister all better, making a name for herself? Honestly, Erik. That was pretty terrible of you, leaving me to rot in that cave for all those years.”

He flinched at her words, as if they were physical weapons she’d brandished in front of him. He knew all of this was his fault, and he would do whatever he could to make it right. Even if it came to a fight.

“Mia, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was cursed, I left to try and find a cure, I-” Erik looked down at his feet. No matter how he tried to spin it, she was right. He was horrible for leaving her. He looked back up, and Mia had stepped down from the dais, still across the hall. She took slow, deliberate steps toward them, her footfalls echoing around them.

“The only reason I’m alive today is all thanks to Mordegon. He saved me, gave me this power...I owe everything to him!” She raised her arms in the air, ominous purple energy flowing from her fingertips.

Erik gritted his teeth. Mordegon. He’d corrupted Mia’s mind and gave her power far too great for her to handle. He shook his head and looked Mia in the eye.

“You have every right to hate me. I hate myself for what I did to you. We’re here to save you, Mia. You don’t need to serve Mordegon.”

Her sneer didn’t falter, it only grew the closer she got to the party.

“I don’t need a hero or a brother, or anyone! You’re worthless to me now! I have unspeakable power, and I’ll make sure you pay for what you’ve done. You’ll at least be worth your weight in gold!”

And with that Mia began to glow, evil purple light streaming from her necklace. It was so blinding they shielded their eyes until it faded. In Mia’s place stood a giant, golden monster outfitted with claws, horns, and sharp teeth. She nashed those same teeth, glowing green eyes locked on Erik.

“I hate you, Erik. Prepare to feel my wrath.”

He staggered back, shoulder bumping into El’s. El gave him a steely look. They had no choice. They had to fight her.

Erik stood in front of the beast, shoulders slumped and palms out. “Mia, I’ve thought about you every day since I left. I searched the entire world for a cure, and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you sooner.”

With that, Erik reluctantly drew his knives. This ended here.

It was a tough fight. Gydygga’s orb allowed her to encase people in gold. Although the curse was temporary, it ended up being rather annoying. Her claw strikes were devastating, tearing through armor and leaving Rab on constant healing duty. She was powerful indeed, fueled by years of fear and scorn fed by Mordegon’s power.

The party came out victorious, but only just barely. They were gasping and beat to hell as Gyldygga began to glow again, the pieces of her armor falling away to reveal Mia. She stayed suspended in air, the necklace’s curse going into overdrive as she lost control of her power. Vicious golden tendrils lashed out from where she floated, her arm outstretched.

“Erik...help me…” 

Erik growled, poised and ready to make a run for her. El placed a hand on his shoulder, startling him enough to look back wide-eyed.

“Huh?”

El squeezed his shoulder and looked up to where Mia was trapped.

“I know you have to do this. Be careful, I have your back.” Light glowed from the mark on El’s hand, giving Erik an opening.

He ducked, jumped, and rolled his way across the room to Mia. He used every muscle in his body to vault himself up to where she was suspended, landing on the surface of her force-field. His hands immediately began to turn to gold at the touch. With sheer willpower and panic, he was able to break through to her despite Mia’s protests. As soon as he reached for her and pulled her into his arms, gold began to creep up his body and spread across his chest.

El stood helplessly on the ground as he watched Erik turn to gold. Frustrated tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He’d just gotten Erik back, and now he was about to lose him all over again. It wasn’t supposed to be a trade, they were supposed to save Mia _and_ Erik. This was all wrong.

Mia clung to Erik as he turned, his whispered apology barely made it out before the gold completely covered his face. Mia held her brother, tears streaming down her face.

“Why can’t things just be like they used to? When it was just us against the world. We were tired, poor, and cold, but at least we had each other. I want it back! I don’t want gold!” As soon as her tears dripped from her chin down onto the necklace, it shattered along with the curse. She was lowered to the ground, Erik back in the flesh along with everyone else who had been taken by the golden fever.

As the light faded Erik held Mia in his arms. She looked up at him with a grin, saying something about losing them a fortune. At least she was back to her old self, quips and all. Erik picked up the golden orb that landed beside them and held it out to El with an exasperated laugh.

El wondered if Yggdrasil was somehow still looking out for them after all.

With the curse broken, the castle began to crumble around them. Everyone joined hands and El quickly zoomed them back to Sniflheim.

As the ruined golden castle faded away, El made a note to forge Erik some new earrings as soon as they were out of here. Preferably out of a different metal.

___________________

The priest reassured Erik one last time that Mia would be alright after some adequate rest. He promised to keep a watchful eye over her until they could return. It was the least he could do after all those years wishing he could have helped them more in their adolescence.

Erik gave her a light kiss on the forehead, brushing her bangs out of her face.

“I’ll be back as soon as this is all over. We’ll travel the world in search of all of the treasure you could even hope to get your hands on, kid. Promise.”

He turned to look at her one last time, a breath of relief fresh in his lungs. He closed the door behind him as quietly as he could, muffling his steps until he was back outside. He felt lighter than air, like he could jump off of a rooftop and take flight.

Then his eyes met El’s.

He rushed over to the offered embrace. El lifted him off of his feet and twirled him around until they both got dizzy. Erik wobbled a bit once his feet were back on the ground, their laughter carrying across the town square.

_Past - Puerto Valor_

El stepped out onto the balcony. He found Erik already leaning against the decorative railing, looking out over the ocean. He always gravitated toward the sea, especially when he had something on his mind. 

The moon reflected off of the water, casting a soft glow across Erik’s face. He turned to look as soon as the door opened, and cracked a nervous smile when he saw who it was. He swore El had a sixth sense for whenever he was wringing a thought to death in his head.

El settled beside him, gaze focused on the horizon. Erik leaned his head on El’s shoulder.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.”

El rested his head on Erik’s, unruly blue spikes tickling his cheeks.

“Me too. Sylvando wasn’t kidding when he insisted we try the sorbet before he took off.”

They scooted so they could look at each other, and Erik’s breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t prepared for how the glow of the moonlight illuminated El’s eyes like glittering diamonds. Before his brain caught up with what his body was doing, he reached forward and cupped El’s cheek in his hand, pulling him forward until their lips met in a soft kiss. 

El let his eyes flutter shut and hummed in contentment against Erik’s lips, tilting his head to the side and leaning in further to deepen the kiss. He tasted like the sweet strawberry sorbet they’d shared only an hour or so ago.

Erik broke the kiss. He wanted more- Yggdrasil knew he wanted all of it, but it only added to the silent fear gripping at his heart. He’d never had feelings like these before, and they were pretty terrifying if he was being honest. Pining was one thing, but having those feelings returned was something entirely different. He trusted El more than anyone else, but something about giving away his heart completely scared the ever-living shit out of him.

El saw the panic on his face clear as day. He scooted over a little, giving Erik some space.

“Are you alright?”

Erik swallowed hard. He didn’t want El to think he’d done something wrong. The exact opposite, actually. He’d done everything perfectly, as always.

“Yeah, It’s just...I’m really happy.” He took a moment, staring out at the ocean before taking another breath to continue. “When things are good do you ever...worry that it’s too good to be true? Like something bad has to happen because things are going too well?”

El looked at him for a moment, not quite understanding.  
“I can’t say that I do. But I want you to know that things are good, and they’re going to stay that way as long as we’re together, worries or not.”

He reached for Erik’s hand and held it against his chest. Erik sighed with a smile, leaning back in until their shoulders touched.

“You’re right. I guess I’m just not used to it. Things going well.”

El kissed his hair before ruffling it. He took a step away from the balcony’s railing and turned for the door. “Well, get used to it. Don’t stay up too late?”

Erik shot him a grin over his shoulder as El walked away.

“No promises.”

_Present - Sniflheim_

El looked to the ground, shaking his head in disbelief. It had been a little more than a day since Erik’s memories had returned, but he was still having a hard time accepting it had really happened.

“It almost doesn’t feel real. After everything that’s happened, finally having you back…”

Erik squeezed his hand, and El looked up to meet his eyes. Erik took a single step closer and gave him a quick, yet effective kiss.

“It’s real. And don’t worry. It’s gonna take a lot more than the end of the world to split us up again.”

Erik smiled to himself at the irony. Usually it was El assuring him everything would be alright, but the way things had been the last half a year...he didn’t blame El in the slightest for needing a dose of confidence with some unconditional love thrown in for good measure.

They waved to the others waiting at the city’s entrance. It was time to get going. Erik gave El a dazzling smile and pointed over his shoulder to where their friends stood waiting.

“Ready to hit the road, partner?”


	9. Bad Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I knew there was no one in the world who could take it / I had a bad feeling._

El’s lighthearted mood lasted until they reached the clearing to Arboria. It had been too peaceful. Too quiet. El should have seen it coming. An ear splitting roar broke the snowy silence as a giant black sky serpent descended toward them, teeth bared and eyes wild.

They didn’t waste any time, drawing their weapons and falling into battle stances. El’s heart fluttered a bit even though they were about to head into combat. The familiarity of falling into position with Erik by his side was a strange sort of comfort, and El happily settled into it like a soft, warm bed. Each executed team strike made El breathe a little easier until the battle began to turn against their favor.

The beast was relentless with dark magic and strength combined. They’d almost certainly exhausted their offensive and the situation began to look dire. El looked to Erik in a slight panic, both panting and wounded. 

Just when El was about to lose hope, a green beam of light struck the monster, holding it still.

“Wretched beast born of darkness, I banish you! Begone from this world!”

They looked up to the cliffside and there Serena stood, harp in her hands and fight in her eyes. She subdued the beast long enough for El to deliver the final blow, dissolving it into a thick, purple mist. Serena made her way down the hill as quickly as she could, her smile so bright it could reflect off of the snow.

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you all! I’ve thought about you every day since…” She looked down, then cleared her throat to look each and every one of them, her smile growing.

“Where’s Veronica?” Jade asked, dusting the snow off of her boots. 

Serena clasped her hands in front of her, trying not to look too worried. “Well, I was making my way back to Arboria hoping she’d beat me there. She always was the quicker of the two of us.” She covered her mouth shyly as she giggled. “I’m so happy you’re all alright!”

El’s heart swelled as he pulled her in for a tight hug, which everyone else joined happily. One more. Just one more and his family would be back to the way it should be.

* * *

Serena led them through the highlands just like the first time they’d been through, and they soon arrived right outside of Arboria. El rested a hand on her shoulder, startling her enough to turn around and face him. His eyes were sad, his ever-present remorse welling up to the surface as he spoke. 

“We’ve seen a lot over the past months, Serena. The fall destroyed countless towns, and with Arboria being so close to where it happened...” He shook his head, looking at the ground with a heavy sigh, the guilt threatening to crush him. “I’m sorry. I’m sure what you’re about to see isn’t going to be pretty.”

When they finally reached the top of the steps, Eleven was forever grateful to be standing behind Serena so he didn’t have to see her broken expression at the sight of her demolished hometown. Miraculously, most of the buildings were alright and still standing, but still-smouldering craters and ash littered the ground. Stairs and stone structures alike were damaged from the falling rubble. Jade and Eleven flanked her, each taking one of her hands to hold as she processed the scene in front of her.

Serena took a deep breath and looked to each of them with a nod. “Alright, let’s get to finding Veronica. She’s here, I can feel her energy.”

They checked in with the townspeople and Serena’s parents, who were ecstatic to see her alive and well. Veronica’s pseudo-energy pulse led them to a quiet grove, which Serena had mentioned they used to play in as children. It made sense she’d be waiting here, but why hadn’t she checked in with the village? How long had she been here?

Serena spotted her first, a red hat sticking out amongst all of the green. She lay leaning against a tree, asleep.

“Veronica! I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back, but I’ve made it. And I’ve brought everyone else!” Serena exclaimed. She tilted her head to the side curiously when Veronica didn’t stir. She reached down to shake her shoulder, but her hand moved right through. 

An illusion. 

Veronica’s staff was planted in the ground at her feet. The large, red ball at the top flashed, and the mark on Eleven’s hand began to glow.

“Oh, perhaps there’s a message! Go on, touch the staff.”

Eleven reached out with a heavy feeling of dread in his stomach. The glow overtook them, and they were taken back to the day that changed everything. Erik stepped forward and gripped El’s other hand, the same feeling in the pit of his gut as well. 

They watched as Mordegon took El’s light and used it to take hold of the sword. He transformed it into something vile, an evil bastardization with an aura to match. He plunged the sword into Yggdrasil’s heart, and She began to fall from the sky as her leaves scattered to the wind. Everyone struggled to get up as they watched on in horror until a green light overtook them, knocking them out. 

Veronica stood, arms outstretched as she struggled. 

“You have to save the world. You’re the only ones who can!” She gritted her teeth against the exertion as each of them were encased in a protective bubble and sent to the corners of Erdrea, as far as she could get them away from Mordegon. Once they were gone she collapsed, meeting her demise along with Yggdrasil. 

Once the light faded, El looked to the others with tears in his eyes. Veronica wasn’t really here. She channeled the last of her energy into her staff to guide them here. To show them what had happened.

Serena sniffled, her voice strained and stuck in her throat.

“Oh, Veronica…” 

El opened his arms to her in offering and she graciously accepted, gently wrapping her arms around his neck and burrowing her head into his shoulder. He held her tight as the sobs shook through her, and him as well.

Jade wiped away her own tears while Hendrik placed a light hand on her back. He looked forlornly at the ground, feelings of self-hatred bubbling up. If he wouldn’t have been so easily fooled all those years... Yet another thing he felt he should have been able to prevent.

Rab shook his head and looked to the ground, his own tears falling as Jade rested and hand on his shoulder. “The poor lass was far too young.”

Erik gritted his teeth and turned away, striking out at the closest tree in anger. They were always at each other’s throats, but it wasn’t out of spite. Not even a little bit. Veronica reminded him a lot of Mia, and that was one of the reasons why they bickered like they did.

It was out of care. Familial.

They took their time to mourn, letting the shock wear off as they leaned on one another for comfort. Once they were ready, the party followed Serena back to Arboria feeling numb.

* * *

El found Erik at the bottom of the stairs leading into town. He quietly took a seat beside him and Erik immediately moved to lean his head on El’s shoulder, his voice coming out strained as his throat tightened from the tears he finally let fall.

“I can’t go up there right now. I can’t see all their faces, I just-”

El reached up and pulled him closer, his own tears falling to match.

“I know, it’s okay,” he whispered into Erik’s hair. His hand came up to rub his back through his coat, both of them relaxing into the half-embrace. El was so grateful to have Erik back, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it through this without him. 

He couldn’t imagine how Serena was feeling. She at least had what was left of her family to lean on, and her friends as well, but losing a twin sister…He had a taste of that feeling back when Cobblestone was destroyed, and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Least of all Serena.

Erik’s hand fisted in El’s coat as he looked up with shining eyes. “I just got Mia back, El. Why did they have to take Veronica?”

The comparison hit El like lightning. Of course Erik saw Veronica like his little sister. The way they always interacted, the petty fights, the veiled insults that subtly showed they cared...it all suddenly made sense. He hugged Erik even closer.

“I’m so sorry. If only I’d been stronger, more prepared.”

Erik flinched and met his gaze, his grip on El’s hand tightening. “Hey, don’t you start that. This is Mordegon’s fault and you know it. If you failed, we all did.”

El sighed, he was right. As easy as it was to place all of the blame on his own shoulders, he had to start telling himself that it was out of his control. Mordegon had been too strong, and with Jasper there too they hadn’t had a chance in hell. There was no way for them to have known.

But that was then, and this was now. They’d lost an immeasurable amount, but damn it all, El was doing what he could to make it right. And now that they had Serena with them it was time to take the fight to Mordegon’s front door. 

He’d pay for what he’d put El through, what he’d put them all through. They all had their own struggles and loss in finding each other again after the fall, and the only way they’d finally be able to rest easier was when that horrific nightmare castle in the sky was reduced to rubble on the ground.

He stood up, still holding Erik’s hand. “We should go get something to eat, the sun’s nearly set.”

Erik nodded slowly and stood with him, and they climbed the stairs together hand in hand.

* * *

As expected, Eleven couldn’t sleep. He carefully untangled himself from Erik’s resting form and stood up, looking over his peaceful face with the shadow of a smile.

El was grateful that Erik was able to at least get some rest. They’d talked until he’d fallen asleep, reminiscing over their favorite memories with Veronica. He gently threaded his fingers through Erik’s hair until he felt his breathing grow slow and steady, his head falling to rest in the space between El’s neck and his shoulder.

He left the ghost of a kiss on Erik’s forehead as he got up, shrugging on his jacket before quietly closing the door behind him.

As soon as he stepped outside he heard a soft, lilting melody coming from the overlook behind the inn. He followed its sound knowing full well who would be on the other end. He stood quietly at the top of the stairs, not wanting to startle her as she played.

Once the song was finished, Serena let her shoulders sag with a heavy sigh. El took a step forward, the echo of his boot on the stone enough to alert Serena she wasn’t alone. 

Her hand flew to her mouth in a gasp when she turned and saw she had company. “Oh, did I wake you? I’m ever so sorry, I’m just…” She held in a sniffle. “Having some trouble sleeping.”

El moved to stand beside her, looking out over the forest. “Don’t worry about it, I can’t either.”

They stood in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until Serena turned to El with tears in her eyes. Aside from when they’d found Veronica’s staff in the clearing, Serena had been steadfast in her grief. So much so that it was beginning to worry everyone. She looked at El with shining eyes, unable to hold it in any longer.

“I’m terribly sorry, but I think I’m about to cry.”

El didn’t miss a beat and took her into his arms, leading her over to the stone bench to sit. He rested a comforting hand on her back, and held her hand as she finally let go of all the sorrow she’d bottled up inside. She stayed strong for her parents, for her friends, and for El, but now she didn’t need to. El didn’t want her to.

He let her cry until her breathing evened out and her grip relaxed. She took a deep breath and sat up, a determined look taking over as she stood and walked over to the edge of the balcony. She pulled a small knife from the folds in her dress, and El was beside her in an instant, a little worried.

“You know, Veronica used to tell me that one day I would have to learn to walk on my own. I always did lean on her, and now I think I know what she meant.”

With one swift motion Serena sliced her hair at the base of her neck and let the strands flutter into the wind. She watched them take flight and swirl down to the forest below. Once they were out of sight she turned back to El with a sad smile.

“Do you recall the ceremony in the square today?It’s an Arborian tradition that we cut our hair to honor those who have passed on.” Just as she finished talking, a pale red glow came down from the sky and hit Serena in the chest, causing her to stagger back a little. El placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her, unsure of what had just happened.

“Oh my, well that felt...strange.” She felt a new power surge through her fingertips, and a fire sparked behind her eyes. She snapped, and a small flame ignited from her hand. She gasped and held the flame in her hands like a small bird.

“Oh Veronica...your last gift.” She looked up to the sky with a nod. “I understand. I promise to use this to protect the Luminary and banish the Dark Lord from this world!” She kept her gaze on the sky, a final tear falling as she held her hands over her heart. She turned to El and gave him one last hug, squeezing until all of the breath was gone from his lungs.

“Thank you for letting me prattle.” They turned as light began to break over the horizon. “We should try to get at least a little rest, come on.” She took his hand and they walked back down to the inn in a comfortable silence. El settled back into bed, and Erik’s still-sleeping form immediately began to wind its way back around him as if he’d never left. He held him close in return and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

_Past - Cobblestone_

El came to and stared at the scene in front of him with a mix of shock and horror. Smoke rose from decimated houses, stone littered the pathways, and bridges were collapsed in. The smell of gunpowder and soot filled his nose as reality settled in.

His home had been destroyed in the few days he was gone. He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder, still tense.

El knew Erik was talking but he couldn’t focus on what he was saying, hearing nothing but white noise. He turned and wordlessly collapsed into his arms. Luckily Erik was somewhat ready to catch him. 

They’d only been traveling together for a handful of days, but El quickly realized that Erik had a way of anticipating his needs before he was even aware of them. Perhaps he was just really good at reading others, but El wanted to think it was because they had some sort of bond. He had never expected anything from his new friend, but he was already more than grateful he was around. 

Erik caught El with a gasp and pulled him in close, patting his back as he cried. The poor kid had only left home less than a full week, and he’d already gone through more than some had their entire lives. And now he didn’t even have a home to come back to. Erik carefully pulled back once El’s sobs had quieted.

“Standing around here isn’t going to do anyone any good. Let’s head over to the falls, you said your grandad may have left you something there? Let’s go check it out.”

El wiped his nose on his sleeve, Erik was right. Standing here staring at the wreckage was only going to keep re-breaking his heart. He’d already seen enough to leave a searing memory. He gave Erik a shaky nod in reply, and they headed off towards the falls.

_Present - Arboria_

El woke late in the morning with his head buried in Erik’s chest. Strong arms wrapped around him as he stirred. One of Erik’s hands was resting on his back while the other carefully threaded through his hair. He relaxed into the touch so much that he almost didn’t realize he’d been crying.

Erik moved his hand, tilting El’s chin up to meet his eyes. “You okay? Bad dream?”

El wiped his face on the extra fabric of his sleep shirt with an awkward laugh. “Yeah, just a bad dream. I’m okay, really. I’m sorry to have worried you.” 

He hugged Erik extra tight, he really didn’t want him to worry. He certainly wasn’t fully ‘okay’ and didn’t expect any of their companions to be either after yesterday, but they unfortunately had come here for a reason. They had to head up to the cathedral later to talk to the high priest about some sort of relic from Serena and Veronica’s ancestor.

* * *

The relic ended up being a fancy flute. The priest didn’t offer much information past that, so they trekked up the hill behind the cathedral and stood on what was known as the Luminary’s Landing. El stood near the edge and held the flute to his lips. Luckily he had a little experience with this type of instrument from when him and Gemma were children. They would hollow out sticks and pretend to be forest spirits, running around the village with their homemade instruments. El looked out over the edge and took a deep breath, playing the simple melody he’d been taught moments ago.

They stood in silence for a few moments, looking around. Had it worked? They remained skeptical until a sudden sound came from above. It almost sounded like....

A giant whale. With wings. El knew he hadn’t slept well, but that couldn’t be real. He looked back to the others, dumbfounded.

“You...you guys see the whale too, right?”

They nodded slowly, just as shocked as they took in the sight. El tentatively stepped forward when the whale stopped in front of the landing, almost as if it wanted them to climb aboard. El was pulled to it, like he could somehow understand the majestic creature. He couldn’t explain why, but he took Erik’s hand and led him over to the edge of the landing as everyone else followed their lead.

Before they jumped, he looked at Erik with a grin. “Trust me?”

Erik grinned back. “Always.”

_Past - Heliodorian Cliffs_

They were cornered. El looked out over the edge. It was nothing but a straight drop. And a big one, at that. He looked up at the sky and sighed, he supposed he’d lived a good enough sixteen years.

Erik didn’t even have to say it, he knew El understood. They had to jump. He reached over and put a hand on El’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Listen, I believe in you, okay? I believe in the Luminary.” He took his hood down, and El’s breath caught in his throat.

He was strikingly beautiful. There was no other way to explain it. His eyes sparkled in the sun, and his hair was a vivid enough blue to rival the sky. With the backdrop of the waterfall he looked like some sort of deity, ready to drag El down to his most certain death. And he was more than alright with that.

El was so caught up in his gawking that he almost missed the words he spoke.

Erik gave El a small, reassuring smile. “The name’s Erik, by the way.”

El gave a nod in return, and they turned to face the cliff’s edge. The guards began to move up behind them, and with a single look in confirmation they sprinted to the edge and jumped.

As El began to feel weightless a thousand thoughts rushed through his mind at once. He looked over at Erik with his arms and legs kicking out at the lack of anything to grab, and El stopped thinking. He acted. He grabbed Erik and pulled him against his chest as they began to fall.

It was logical, and that’s what El would use as his excuse if they survived this. El was bigger, a little more sturdy. He should be the one to take the brunt of the impact. 

Luckily Erik didn’t have the time to argue before they hit the water and everything went black.

_Present - Aboard Cetacea; Skies Above Erdrea_

The party stood atop the mighty sky whale, who they learned was named Cetacea.

Erik put a hand on El’s shoulder. “Did you uh...tell her where to go? Or are we just along for the ride?”

El shrugged. “You know as much as I do.”

Cetacea dropped them off on a strange floating island. There were tame, friendly monsters frolicking about, and as they made their way up to the only building on the island something rustled in the bushes.

Everyone drew their weapons in caution. The monsters they’d seen so far weren’t hostile, but that didn’t mean they all weren't. After a few moments and some taunting from Erik, a small, timid creature emerged.

They introduced themselves as the last Watcher, and explained that their kind had been wiped out when Yggdrasil fell. El’s shoulders sagged at the news. Before he could apologize, the creature exclaimed joy at the fact that the Luminary was alive and well. They explained that he had to collect the sacred flame from the temple and use it to forge a new Sword of Light.

El didn’t even know that was possible. They entered the temple, received the flame, and got a few visions from Yggdrasil herself about how to forge the sword. The visions were comforting, like Yggdrasil was still somehow looking out for him even after everything that had happened.

Once they were back outside and preparing to head out, El startled at the feeling of a hand clapping down on his shoulder.

“So, it looks like we have some work to do. Ready?” Erik gave him a reassuring smile, as did the others. El gave a nod, his own hopeful grin forming.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”


	10. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ Yeah we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied._

Three stops. One on a floating rock in the sky, one in Gallopolis, and one in Mount Huji. It seemed straightforward enough, but had proven to be anything but. 

The floating rock in the sky known as the Battleground was teeming with monsters. As soon as they arrived and dispelled the protective aura around the entrance, Erik was sniffing the air like a bloodhound.

“This place is loaded.”

As always, Erik’s nose wasn’t wrong. They ended up leaving with plenty of forging supplies and a few new weapons, and most importantly a giant lump of orichalcum. The first piece of the puzzle.

They settled back onto Cetacea and headed to Gallopolis for the next one. El knew he could zoom them there just as easily, but each moment that passed made him more tense knowing that their end goal was finally taking on Mordegon. Flying with Cetacea helped ebb his ever-growing anxiousness, so he was going to take every opportunity to enjoy it while he could.

As soon as they landed in front of Gallopolis’ gates, it was clear something was very wrong in the usually bustling city. The streets were practically empty, and upon Eleven’s gaze trailing up towards the palace he noticed the sky was an unusual shade of purple and red. Looking further up, his eyes widened when he saw that Erdwin’s Lantern was hanging alarmingly low in the sky.

After a quick discussion with the Sultan, they headed out to the desert to meet with Prince Faris, who was currently camped out in the middle of the Celestial Sands to observe the Lantern. According to his father, the prince had taken a special fascination with the runes written on its surface, and had spent a decent amount of time out in the Sands studying them.

Although concerning, seeing the Lantern up close was strangely breathtaking. El carefully stepped over where Faris lay sprawled on the ground and into the circle of ruins to investigate. His attention was immediately drawn to a small, purple creature standing in the center of the structure. It waved its arms upwards toward the Lantern, almost as if trying to summon something. He walked closer, and startled when it spoke to him.

“Y O U C A N S E E M E? T H A T M E A N S Y O U M U S T B E…”

Before it could continue, the star began to quake in the sky, slowly beginning its descent. Erik grabbed his arm and began to pull him back.

“C’mon, we gotta move!” El let himself be pulled away, the rest of the party backing up as well as they watched the Lantern fall.

“Oh no, we’re going to be squished!” Sylvando grabbed onto Hendrik and hid behind him, peeking out from over his shoulder.

Before the star fell much further, a large shadow covered in malicious, purple energy appeared and struck the Lantern with a giant sword, shattering it to glittering pieces. 

Everyone stood and watched in shock and confusion, not entirely sure what had just taken place. Jade snapped back to reality first, resting a hand on her hip while her eyes stayed on the sky.

“Well, that’s certainly one way to handle it.”

Erik looked up to where the mysterious figure had disappeared, arms crossed over his chest. “What _was_ that thing?”

El shook his head in response. “I’m not sure, but at least Gallopolis is safe now.”

They made their way back to the palace to explain what had happened to the Sultan, and he was as grateful as ever for them once again helping his dear son. They received the treasured forging hammer from Faris himself, who proclaimed if they ever needed anything more to simply ask.

As much as they joked about Faris, he ended up being relatively helpful this time around. It seemed that he’d grown and matured quite a bit over the past year. Perhaps once this was all said and done El could visit and begin to properly get to know him.

Their last stop took them through the mountains to Hotto, to ask about the forge hidden away in Mount Huji. When they arrived the grand priestess Miko was concerned with other matters- mainly offering a ghastly human sacrifice to the mountain to keep it from erupting. 

It was always something, it seemed.

El as well as the rest of the party knew resorting to such practices to appease a force of nature was unreasonable, but Miko’s mind was made up and her resolve was as steely as ever.

Rumor was that a fearsome dragon called Tatsunaga lived in the volcano, and the rumors were soon proven true when the very beast of legends landed in the center of town. Miko had sworn she’d killed the beast herself, but that was clearly a lie. 

El held in a sigh of annoyance as he drew his sword to fight. Something was seriously wrong with Hotto.

They dealt with the dragon with little trouble aside from a few minor burns and scratches. As the beast faded away into smoke, El took his leave to ask around about the forge. Erik followed him up the stairs towards the temple, sensing he could use something to lighten his mood.

After speaking with Miko’s housekeeper he received the key needed to enter the deepest part of the volcano, and almost jumped out of his skin when he bumped right into Erik after stepping back outside.

He tilted his head in curiosity. El wasn’t usually this jumpy.

“Hey, you okay?”

El sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I’m just ready to get out of here.”

It was more than understandable. This visit had been much worse than their last one here. Erik shook his head before he could start reminiscing about their first trip to the bath house, back when they were far too wrapped up in their own doubts and fears to realize their already growing feelings.

Erik took a moment to appreciate the man in front of him, even with the sour look still on his face. They’d both come so far since then. They’d been through much more, but they’d only grown closer because of it.

Before he knew what he was doing he moved closer and wrapped El into a tight hug. He felt El tense up at the touch, but he quickly relaxed as he wound his arms around Erik’s waist to return the embrace.

“Thanks, I didn’t realize how much I think I needed that.”

“‘Course. You know you don’t hide your feelings well.” He stepped away quickly to dodge the playful punch El threw. A faint smile grew on his face.

“You’re right. I’m pretty lucky I have you around.”

“You bet you are.” Erik smirked before jogging back down the steps to meet up with the others.

El took another moment to appreciate the view from atop the hill, his gaze settling on Mount Huji.

* * *

They made their way up to the mountain and down into its depths where the giant metal door waited. El unlocked the door and pushed it open, with a heavy sigh. It was now or never.

It didn’t look like anything more than a giant lava pit, but once they approached the edge of the cliff a giant forge began to rise up out of the lava. As soon as El stepped onto the main platform, it began to glow to life along with the mark on his hand.

They gathered their materials, and with the legendary forging hammer propped over his shoulder, El began to shape the molten sword. It was harder than it looked, sweat soon beading along his forehead and streaming down his cheeks. His hair hung damp against his face, and when he stepped back to take a breather, Erik wrapped his hand over El’s.

“Why don’t you take a break for a while? I can take it from here.”

El was pleasantly surprised by the offer. Erik hated being anywhere near the forge. The others nodded in agreement, each vowing to take a turn.

“You’ve done so much, Eleven. Let us pick up the slack for a change.”

El took a step back and caught his breath while his friends took turns bashing the legendary sword into shape. When it was just about finished, Hendrik handed the hammer back to El with a smile.

“Would you care to do the honors?”

El took the hammer with a nod, and with a few more hefty swings it was finished. As he carefully picked it up, storm clouds quickly rolled in and began to gather above them. The mark on his hand glowed and reflected into the sky, and as he hoisted the sword overhead lightning struck down to put the final touches on the legendary weapon. 

He gave it a few practice swings as sparks danced along the blade. The elemental power surged through his body, and a confident smile took hold across his face. He sheathed the new weapon away and squared his shoulders before turning to his companions. For the first time since they began this journey he felt ready. More than ready.

It was time to take Mordegon down.

* * *

Indignus thankfully wasn’t anything they weren’t prepared to handle, and Erik seemed particularly antsy to take him down. His strikes were noticiably more ferocious, and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the final sentinel hit the ground.

_Past - The Heart of Yggdrasil_

This was it, this was the end.

It had all gone so wrong so fast. El wasn’t sure if he could pinpoint exactly when everything went to hell, but they were certainly there now. One second he was carefully reaching into Yggdrasil’s heart, and the next they were all on the ground, incapaciteted by a sneak attack. 

Well, all of them except for El.

The others watched on in shock and mounting horror as the monster that went by the name of Mordegon picked Eleven up by his collar, hoisting him high up off the ground with a chilling smirk before doing the absolute unthinkable. 

He didn’t hear them crying out his name, he didn’t see the tears streaming down their faces. All he saw was that blood-curdling smile, and then nothing.

Erik’s eyes went wide as he watched Mordegon plunge a clawed hand directly into El’s chest. The pained sound that ripped from his throat was perhaps one of the worst sounds Erik had ever heard, so much so that he found his hands pressed over his ears as El’s limp and lifeless body was tossed aside without a second thought.

He wanted to move, to hold him, but he couldn’t find a single shred of willpower to do so. Instead he watched the twins crawl their way over, doing whatever they could to ensure El wasn’t...that he hadn’t…

Erik didn’t have much time to grieve. The last thing he remembered was feeling weightless.

And then nothing.

_Present - Palace of Malice_

El stared back into those same disgusting eyes, albeit now they were morphed into something even more detestable and evil. Sword of Light brandished in his right hand, he charged forward with a spirit stronger than any weapon.

The fight was by far the hardest any of them had ever faced, but with their combined skills and endless training El wasn’t the least bit worried.

He pushed forward with a blind fury, each slash lifting an invisible weight off of his shoulders.

El landed the final blow, light erupting from the sword as Mordegon fell to his knees. He used his final breaths to curse the Luminary and his companions, the evil radiating off into the ether. The castle began to crumble around them, and when they looked up, a giant two-headed skeleton floated ominously in the sky.

Of course he wasn’t dead. It could never be that simple. He looked back to his friends, his _family_, and they nodded without hesitation. They were here until the bitter end.

It was either him or them, and it most certainly wasn’t going to be them.

* * *

One final strike. That was all El had left to give, but he had a feeling it was all he needed.

The scrape of metal against bone rang out along with the long, agonizing cry of defeat. El staggered back until he bumped into Erik, and he blindly grabbed for his hand as they watched the evil being fade into nothingness. They’d done it. By the grace of whatever was left of Yggdrasil and the gods, they’d done it.

He heard the others begin to shout. They weren’t safe here. The remainder of Mordegon’s dark castle began to crumble and fall from the sky, and they needed to move. El scrambled for his flute and summoned Cetacea to their rescue. A short dash and a leap later, they were safely aboard her back as she flew away to watch from a safe distance.

El let his legs give out underneath him, and there were suddenly several pairs of arms reaching out to catch him. It had been so long since he had felt anything close to this- free from worry, sorrow, and fear. He sat and watched with tears in his eyes as the unimaginable happened before their eyes.

Yggdrasil slowly began to rise again, taking Her rightful place back in the sky.

Enough relief washed through his veins that Eleven felt numb as he watched not only Yggdrasil rise, but all of Her leaves bloom back like nothing had happened. It was like an entire forest blooming in fast-forward, and El held a single hope in his heart as he watched the leaves flourish back to life. Perhaps they weren’t all lost.

Serena took a step back with a hand on her chest. “I...suddenly I don’t feel so well. Perhaps it’s just motion sickne-”

Jade swifty caught her before she could faint, slowly lowering her down to rest on Cetacea’s back next to Eleven. Moments later a bright light burst from her chest, circling around them before darting down to Erdrea below.

Serena opened her eyes, a hand still on her tingling chest. “What in the heavens…? That certainly felt strange!” She slowly sat up with a strange feeling like she was no longer whole. She shook her head and tried not to dwell on it, getting back to her feet with Jade’s help. 

“Thank you. I’m not quite sure what came over me just now. Is everyone else alright?” 

They nodded, and kept a watchful eye on her until they landed back in Arboria.

The town was almost just as they’d left it days before, but it looked like they’d begun to clean up and rebuild. There was no longer smoke wafting from the smouldering rubble.

As soon as their feet were back on solid ground, Serena ventured ahead and turned back to the others with wide eyes. Her chest swelled with hope as her previously severed link with her sister began to pulse, as strong as ever.

“That’s strange...I can...I can _feel_ Veronica. Like she’s here, somehow.”

El tensed up. The memory of what happened last time was still too fresh in his mind, and as much as he hoped that somehow defeating Mordegon brought her back, he kept his hopes and emotions carefully guarded. He took Serena’s hand and led her down the many stairs back down to the square where the entire town seemed to be waiting for them.

He had been there for her before, and he would be a thousand times over no matter the outcome.

Regardless of their worries or fears, standing right in the center of town, full height and all, was Veronica. 

Serena stood shocked, blinking her eyes hard to make sure it wasn’t a dream or some sort of cruel vision. She suddenly tore her hand out of El’s and bolted down the last few steps, stopping in front of her twin sister. “Veronica, is it really you?” 

She reached forward and rested a tentative hand on her cheek. When the touch was solid, she hastily pulled her in for a hug, tears immediately spilling down onto Veronica’s dress. Veronica held her sister tight, patting her back as she fought back her own tears.

“Oh, come now. There’s no need for that.”

The rest of them stood shell-shocked at the sight of their fallen companion. Erik rested an elbow on El’s shoulder like an armrest, startling him to Yggdrasil and back.

“So...does this mean that everyone lost during the fall is back now?”

The answer to his question was quickly provided with more proof when a very excitable couple ran up to Eleven, tears of joy in their eyes.

“Honored Luminary! You’ve saved our baby! As soon as Yggdrasil returned to the sky, she appeared in her crib as if nothing had happened! Oh, what a miracle! We owe you the utmost of thanks and gratitude!”

El bowed in appreciation and shook their hands before turning back to Erik. “I guess that answers that question.” A feeling of pure unbridled joy hit El in that moment so strongly he was worried he might get sick. They’d really done it.

His entire body felt so buoyant he expected wings to burst from his back to lift him into flight. He walked down the few remaining steps to meet Veronica, and without a single word he hugged her tight against his chest.

“Oh gods, not you too! Next you’re going to tell me Erik wants a hug.” She side-eyed him from where he stood behind Eleven, and he began to laugh.

“You bet I do.”

When El stepped back, his next breath felt easier. 

After making his rounds through the grateful townsfolk, he ended up on the same balcony where he and Serena had mourned together just a handful of days ago. It felt like an eternity had passed since then. He rested his hands down on the stone half-wall and looked out over Erdrea. People all over the world would be having tearful reunions just like theirs as Yggdrasil’s leaves were revived.

He turned when he heard light footsteps behind him. Erik had a bad habit of sneaking up on others without trying, so he did his best to make his presence known when he could. He fell into place beside El and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Still doesn’t feel quite real, y’know? That we saved the world.”

El let out a long breath and relaxed into Erik’s hold. “Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself.”

Now that they had the foreseeable future free and laid out in front of them, a sudden bout of insecurity took hold in El’s mind. What were they going to do now? Did Erik still want to stay with him? How often would he see his friends now? Before he could get too lost in his own head, Erik looked up and frowned. 

“Hey, cut it out. I can practically see the smoke coming out of your ears.” He leaned into El’s side in a half-hug, his hair tickling El’s neck.

“What’s wrong?”

“I guess I don’t know what to do now. Ever since I left Cobblestone I had a goal, and now...” He looked down at his feet. “...I’m not sure where that leaves us.”

_Past - Ruins of Dundrasil_

Erik found El sitting on the steps of one of the several decaying buildings. He approached slowly, giving El plenty of time to turn him away if he wanted to be alone, but he remained silent. He looked up and gave Erik a small smile, nodding his head to the side in an invitation to join him.

They were quiet for a minute or two until Erik drudged up the courage to speak.

“Got anything on your mind?”

El stopped fidgeting with the hem on his coat and reached out for one of Erik’s with a sigh, almost like he was ashamed of what he was about to say. 

“I know it doesn’t do me any good, but...I can’t stop thinking about what it would have been like. If the attack never happened.”

Erik squeezed his hand and let go, instead reaching his arm around El’s shoulders to pull him in closer.

“You’d be a fancy prince living in a fancy castle.”

El laughed at how matter-of-fact he sounded, but only for a moment until he realized he probably wouldn’t have crossed paths with Erik in that sort of life. He would have been raised in the castle by his birth parents and his grandfather. He would have grown up around Jade, Jasper, and Hendrik, and all other sorts of princely things he couldn’t even begin to imagine.

But then he wouldn’t have ever known his mother and grandad, Gemma, or anyone in Cobblestone. He wouldn’t have had the peaceful countryside upbringing he’d taken for granted until he found his hometown destroyed. 

He looked down at his shoes and tried to push the nagging thought that anyone too close to him ended up dead out of his mind. He leaned into Erik a little harder and looked up with the sadness still lingering in his eyes.

“But then how would I have met you?”

“That’s easy. I would have broken into the treasury to steal some royal Drasilian artifact, and you would have caught me.”

“And then what, have you thrown down into the dungeons?”

Erik shrugged. “Probably, but I would have charmed my way out.” He winked, glad that had at least pulled a smile out of El. 

El rested his head down onto Erik’s shoulder. “Life would have been a lot different.” He nuzzled in until his nose bumped against Erik’s jaw.

“But I’m happy we’re here. Together.” He moved until he was able to kiss just beneath Erik’s earlobe, and he hummed against the touch.

He ran a gloved hand through El’s hair, careful of any tangles that caught on his fingers. “Me too, considering the circumstances. You’ve been through a lot, El.”

El stayed quiet, but he had a feeling Erik had been through just as much, if not more. There had to be a reason he never spoke about anything prior to being locked up in Heliodor. Maybe one day he’d trust El enough to talk about it, and if not, he’d just keep on loving him all the same.

It was in that moment that he realized he truly did love him. It was a slow, gentle burning in the pit of his chest that flared up into an inferno every time they touched, at every shared glance, and every morning they woke up tangled in each other’s arms. He wasn’t brave enough to say it yet, but he would show it. 

He could take his time. Something told him this feeling wasn’t going anywhere.

“Erik?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m...really glad we met. I think it’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

Erik’s eyes went wide at the admission, and thankfully El couldn’t see the shock on his face. He placed a gentle kiss to El’s temple before pulling away.

“Me too, El. I feel the same way.”

_Present - Arboria_

Erik reached down to grab El’s hand as they stared out over the highlands. He leaned up on his tiptoes to brush his lips to El’s cheek, grabbing his attention.

“Still want that cottage?”

El pulled him closer, resting his head on top of Erik’s.

“More than anything.”

“Then we’ll make it happen. Anywhere you want. I’m sure people will be more than happy to build the Luminary, Almighty Savior of Erdrea a humble house in the country.”

El laughed at the title and wrinkled his nose. “You’re a Savior of Erdrea too, you know.”

Erik stuck out his tongue, sharing the sentiment about their accolades. “Yeah, yeah.” 

He pulled back and tucked a stray hair behind El’s ear. “We’ll figure it out, okay? Right now all you should be worrying about is relaxing.”

He punctuated his point by kissing the tip of his nose. “Now c’mon, we have a party to enjoy.”

El allowed Erik to take him by the arm and whisk him back down to the square where Sylvando had begun teaching the townsfolk a dance.

* * *

The next morning El woke later than usual, which was already later than everyone else. Even more surprising was that Erik was still in bed as well, curled comfortably around El’s back. El reached to try and run his hand through Erik’s hair, his body contorting a bit to do it from the awkward angle. 

Erik stirred at the touch and covered his eyes with a groan.

“Sweet Goddess what time is it?”

El looked up at the clock on the wall and stifled a laugh.

“Just past noon.”

He rolled onto his back and slapped a pillow over his face. “Holy shit.”

El moved the pillow down just enough to kiss his forehead as he rolled out of bed. “Can I get you anything? Some water, food, a bucket of cold water, perhaps?”

Erik tossed the pillow at El’s head, followed by a searing glare. “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

He sighed, slowly sitting up as he held his head. “Food sounds amazing. I can’t believe that brat handled her liquor better than me.”

Unable to hold back his laughter at Erik’s sour face, El finished getting dressed. “Come on, let’s go get you a strong cup of coffee and some lunch.”

After a filling meal that helped ward off everyone’s collective hangover, they met by the cathedral to bid the sisters farewell.

El hugged Veronica tight, feeling odd that he didn’t have to bend down for once. “We’ll be back soon, promise.”

“You’d better be,” she said with a playful smile.

He moved to give Serena a hug as well, and she hung on just a tad longer. “Thank you so much, Eleven. Truly, I’ll never know how to repay you.” She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled through her tears.

“You don’t have to, it was my duty. Take care of each other. We’ll be back before you know it.”

The twins waved as their friends left through the passage back up to the landing.

As they flew closer to Sniflheim, Erik shook his head. “Could I be the last one? If you don’t mind circling back around, that is.”

“Of course. Once we get to the Bastion I’ll zoom us back.”

They ended up in the Bastion sooner than either of them wanted after dropping Sylvando off in Puerto Valor and Rab back in Dundrasil at his request.

They bid farewell to Jade and Hendrik just outside the gates, El promising he’d be back soon. As much as he wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye to Erik, he was more than excited to see his mother and Gemma.

El grabbed Erik’s hand and faded into the blue glow as they were transported back to Sniflheim. They landed just outside the gates, and El cursed his eyes for watering already.

Erik wasn’t much better off as he grabbed El by the arms to get him to look up.

“Hey, it’s only a few weeks. I’ll be back before you know it. Once I get Mia settled at the Academie I’ll meet you in Cobblestone. And I’ll write in between, too.”

El hadn’t been away from Erik since Yggdrasil fell, and the very thought of being separated for any undetermined amount of time made an uncomfortable fear flare up in his chest. Erik watched El struggle for words and took a step closer.

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too, but it’s temporary. After this we can start making some real future plans, okay? You, me, and a cozy cottage in the country.”

El nodded through the tears, and when he looked up he noticed Erik was wiping away tears of his own. He sniffled and finally found his words as Erik looked over towards the gates with a frown.

“Tell Mia I said hi, and that I wish her luck at school. Although if she’s half as smart as her older brother, she’ll be just fine.” El managed a smile, and Erik broke out into gentle laughter.

“Try convincing her that. I promised her during their first summer break I’d take her on a little treasure hunt, and you better believe you’re coming with us.”

El took a small step back. “Oh no, Erik. I couldn’t- you should have that time with her.”

Erik shook his head. “She’s gonna need to get used to having you around, El. Especially if we’re gonna be living in the same house.”

El knew they’d decided on their living arrangements before leaving Arboria. They wanted to live together after everything was settled, but hearing Erik say it out loud made his heart ache in the best way. 

The future they’d been dreaming about for over a year was finally within reach, and it felt too good to be true. He grabbed Erik into a crushing hug, not wanting to let go.

“It won’t be more than a month or so, I promise.” He reluctantly pulled back, but not before giving El one more kiss before he stepped away, his boots crunching in the fresh snow.

El watched him walk through the city gates, and before he was out of sight he turned and waved with a wide smile before disappearing among the crowd.

* * *

_Six Weeks Later…_

El woke to the sound of Sandy barking, but he didn’t scramble out of bed until he heard a familiar voice. Was he still dreaming? He poked his head around the corner into the kitchen, and seated at the kitchen table talking to his mum was none other than Erik.

“Well good morning, lazy bones! Saved you some breakfast.”

El bounded over and almost tackled him off of the chair in a clumsy hug. He buried his head into the spot between Erik’s neck and shoulder and took a deep breath. He’d missed so many little things while Erik was gone, but his scent was one of the things he missed the most.

“You’re back.” His voice was muffled against Erik’s skin as he refused to let go or loosen his grip.

Erik hugged him back with just as much force, shifting so El could sit more comfortably on his lap. “Of course, I told you I’d be here as soon as I could.”

Amber watched on with a faint smile as she cleaned the last of the dishes. El had told her so much about this boy over the past few weeks that she felt she already knew him when he’d knocked on the door early this morning.

El scooted over into his own chair and gratefully began to eat his breakfast, all while still holding Erik’s hand under the table.

After breakfast Erik unpacked his few things, and they decided to take an afternoon climb up the Tor. 

The climb up was much easier than the first time El had scaled the giant stone landmark with Gemma just a few years ago. They were soon staring out over the mountains to the sea, no storm clouds or monsters in sight.

El had a hard time focusing out on the view when the man standing beside him was more than capable of taking his breath away. He watched Erik, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath of fresh mountain air. He’d only been here for a few hours, but he already looked healthier. Like the country air was giving him new life.

They laid back in the grass side by side, and Erik looked up at the sky with a thoughtful smile. 

“Y’know, this reminds me of that time we were out by the coast, picking out cloud shapes. That was right before Hendrik chased us down like field mice.” He laughed and rolled onto his side grabbing El’s hand.

“Feels like a lifetime ago.”

El leaned closer and kissed the back of his hand. “It does. You’ve certainly grown on me, just like a fungus. A horrible, brain-melting fungus.”

Erik pressed his palm flat against El’s chest and shoved him onto his back, feigning offence.

“Says you.”

Once their laughter died down and settled into a comfortable silence, El maneuvered back onto his side, scooting closer until they were nose to nose.

“I still meant what I said that day.”

He looked at Erik like it was for the first time. After everything, being able to be here with him now with nothing but their future laid out before them, he meant it more than he ever knew he would.

Erik gently placed his hands on either side of El’s face, smoothing his thumbs over his cheekbones as a faint blush bloomed beneath them. 

“Me too. Till the end, partner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, it's finished! I can't believe it thank you all for joining me on this journey. I appreciate every single read, it means so much to me <3


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